Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just watching this Yo Samdy Sam video and already noticing (in spite of her posh, private school education - privilege alert!) that many of the teachers' observations are almost exaclty the same as on my own. Almost eerily, in fact, although I went to a very rough comprehensive in the North East of England. My reports were, on the face of it, rather good, but there are some little asides which indicate constant high levels of anxiety combined with my supposed "giftedness" (I was actually terrified into appearing "gifted", I now think). When I look back, I'm getting more of a feeling of, "My goodness - what did they do to me?" Very interesting, I think, And I'll probably reflect some more on this as I watch the rest. My "giftedness" didn't exactly carry over into most of the workplaces I got myself trapped in and I then experienced decades of anxiety and fairly poor mental health. So... and if you care to share, how was it for you? www.youtube.com/watch
My primary school ones weren’t too bad. I was described as quiet, reserved, doesn’t participate in group discussions; likes the company of one or two friends etc. Also, ‘excellent’ at English and creative writing but struggles in other areas.
However, things went downhill in secondary school. I was described as ‘troubled’. One teacher even wrote – **** constantly looks ‘morose’ – when he should be enjoying life at his age.
I don’t think I learned a single thing in secondary school. The teachers showed zero interest and deemed me a dumbass as I couldn’t concentrate or participate in class. I just rebelled, smoked pot and thumped anyone who tried picking on me.
I had one English teacher who encouraged my creative writing, but back then I couldn’t see where it would take me. I left with one GCSE and spent years in jobs I hated.
Anyway, at the age of 37, I took up writing again and earned a degree in English language and creative writing. I should have just skipped secondary school. Primary school was much more productive!
Sounds dire, again with no indication as to how they would be supporting you. It's great that you took up writing again, but just terrible that most of the people who were supposed to be educators virtually stamped it out of you. I suppose that you at least have the memory of that one teacher having some faith in your ability, even though you couldn't really respond at that time (entirely understandably, given the rest of what you went through).And how on earth can "constantly looks morose" be an acceptable thing to write? I think this kind of thing was more common in the past and it certainly chimes with what Sam was saying about the lack of confidence and the apparent "helpful" advice to "just be more confident", as if that were even possible without the right support. Personally, I used to get a lot of , "Cheer up, it might never happen" type comments, when I clearly needed help! How can we enjoy life when we just get blamed in situations that have consistently made us feel that way? As it it's always our fault and, no, they don't need to change!
Jenny Butterfly
Exactly, the whole system is ridiculous. I would have loved to have skipped most subjects and just focused on creative activities.
The ‘morose’ thing is shocking, isn’t it. My end-of-year report stated that I’m ‘clearly troubled’, yet they did nothing to find out the reasons.
I’ve experienced that as well. From early childhood, I was constantly told to ‘smile’ everywhere I went. Used to annoy me big time. As I got older I was just called miserable and grumpy by everyone. Doesn’t help our mental health!
Do any of us handle pressure well?! Part of it was my mistake of not having the best time management and putting too much into the conference. I do wonder if an autism diagnosis might have helped, but probably not, given my known disability an lower energy levels.