Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just watching this Yo Samdy Sam video and already noticing (in spite of her posh, private school education - privilege alert!) that many of the teachers' observations are almost exaclty the same as on my own. Almost eerily, in fact, although I went to a very rough comprehensive in the North East of England. My reports were, on the face of it, rather good, but there are some little asides which indicate constant high levels of anxiety combined with my supposed "giftedness" (I was actually terrified into appearing "gifted", I now think). When I look back, I'm getting more of a feeling of, "My goodness - what did they do to me?" Very interesting, I think, And I'll probably reflect some more on this as I watch the rest. My "giftedness" didn't exactly carry over into most of the workplaces I got myself trapped in and I then experienced decades of anxiety and fairly poor mental health. So... and if you care to share, how was it for you? www.youtube.com/watch
I have read of some people with Autism, who were punished probably for things they found difficult to manage because of their Autism. There does maybe seem to be cases of children with Special needs being punished more often, usually teachers who just aren’t educated enough about it. .
I was punished a lot in my early years at nursery and infant school. I would have meltdowns when forced into the playground, due to the overwhelming noise of the other children screaming and shouting. As a result I was punished almost every day. The punishment was being made to sit in the corner, cross legged, facing the walls and I was shouted at if I as much as turned my head towards the class.
Also I found the environment in the school canteen completely unbearable, due to the overwhelming noise of plates clattering, chairs scraping, the cutlery, noise from the other children, the dinner ladies shouting at me because I was too upset to eat.
As a result of my 'behaviour' I was excluded from the school during lunch times and my mum was told she had to take me home every day for lunch. I found out years later that my mum had to go without food herself because she could not afford to feed me At school I would have been entitled to free meals
Things improved in primary school, where my teacher would allow me to stay in the classroom during most playtimes and she would give me extra maths questions to do. I still had to go home for lunch every day.
In secondary school I mainly kept my head down and tried not to be noticed. I did seem to find myself in detention quite a lot for being late, due to problems with time management.
Those early years sound particularly bad. I don't remember being punished often at that age. However one incident in reception class stands out and that was when I got hit on the hand with a ruler for not doing any work. I'd just been off with chickenpox or something and this was, I think, my first ever maths lesson. Really, it was very small sums like 1 + 2 =. But I was sitting there very confused, wondering, "One what?" and "Which two?". I tried to get the kid next to me to explain but she didn't know either. Then came the stern words and the punishment. :(.
Your approach in secondary school sounds safest but it's a real pity you had to keep your head down. I feel like we weren't allowed to be ourselves.
The punishments doled out in those days seem particularly cruel now, particularly when the 'behaviour' was due to social confusion or sensory overload.
I don't think I understand, even to this day, exactly what it was that I was being punished for. I remember crying a lot during my punishment and the teacher shouting at me that I was 'behaving like a baby'. The actual behaviour I was being punished for is less clear. I just remember the overwhelming noise from the other children in the playground and that they were like wild animals to me! I remember trying to run away on occasions, but that wasn't every day. I guess that every day that I was forced out into the playground resulted in some sort of meltdown and it certainly wasn't deliberate or controllable.
In the end the school asked my mum to go in every day at play times, to keep me calm and well away from any of the other children. The teachers couldn't calm me down and their 'punishments' weren't making any difference. Interestingly they never told my mum about the punishments, they just told her that I 'wasn't settling'
At least with the detentions I understood why I was being punished. The rules were clear. If I was late for morning or afternoon registration I was given detention. I was generally fine with that, although my form tutor also happened to be my PE teacher and did seem to take pleasure in giving me detentions.
Looking back I don't think it was just time management. By arriving a few minutes late I could avoid the huge influx of hundreds of children and all the noise and pushing and shoving that came with that. When I was given detention I could also avoid the crowds and noise at the end of the school day too. I was probably the only pupil who actually liked being given detention!