Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just watching this Yo Samdy Sam video and already noticing (in spite of her posh, private school education - privilege alert!) that many of the teachers' observations are almost exaclty the same as on my own. Almost eerily, in fact, although I went to a very rough comprehensive in the North East of England. My reports were, on the face of it, rather good, but there are some little asides which indicate constant high levels of anxiety combined with my supposed "giftedness" (I was actually terrified into appearing "gifted", I now think). When I look back, I'm getting more of a feeling of, "My goodness - what did they do to me?" Very interesting, I think, And I'll probably reflect some more on this as I watch the rest. My "giftedness" didn't exactly carry over into most of the workplaces I got myself trapped in and I then experienced decades of anxiety and fairly poor mental health. So... and if you care to share, how was it for you? www.youtube.com/watch
My reports are so boring. I did the work, but I was quiet. They never had anything personal in there at all. I just kept myself invisible.
The best way for sure. The louder you are the more attention you get. I preferred to be on my own.
I hid in the art room at lunchtime in high school.
I don't think I even bothered to disguise it after a while. A thing which was even worse than being picked last was having to do the picking! I'd picky my friend and then get her advice on who to pick.
Ha, yes! I ran from the ball too. Or rather disguised evasion as an inefficient attempt to get *to* it. Being picked last for teams was very understandable, everyone knew I was hopeless and uninvested in competitive point-scoring.
Those sounds really good! Clay is heavy, yes, but there are some great yarns available.
I have some very fond memories of going with my mother into wool shops and remnant houses, plus with both parents and my sister to Durham covered in market to look at all the craft materials.
These add a real richness to life, I think, plus they are a sensory delight. :)
I do in a way. One of them was a giant soft sculpture cactus I sewed. A couple of years ago I crocheted some cacti, so not very different! Some of my crochet projects are fun and eccentric. The clay I do miss, but it would be hard on my arthritic hands now. But yarn does give me a good outlet. I am thinking of crocheting a unicorn hat or hood, that would be fun!
I quite like the unmade bed. But maybe you could do some small scale eccentric sculptures? Of course, they'd have the potential to develop into full scale projects later on, space permitting, but it seems a shame for those ideas to be lost. Maybe there is something in the process of planning and designing that can feed your soul? There must surely be an outlet for you. Even if it's in a child-like way. And yes, I do need to make the child within feel happier, that's true.
Oh do pick up your art supplies and play with them! Make that child that was once you happy!
I do play with yarn sometimes, or sewing and a little bit of calligraphy now and then. My worsening eyesight is not helping though.
As for the huge eccentric sculptures, fun as they were I am sure my husband would be horrified! Where would they go in the house? It is messy enough already! Maybe I should try and claim the mess is an art installation... like the unmade bed?
Yes, I made similar choices and felt that creative - academic tension too. I found that the further I got through my education the more pressure was piled onto the academic side. And, although I felt out of place and in many ways blocked, the need to conform academically and also to escape childhood poverty prevailed. So I later trained as an accountant and the creative, arty kid in me was suppressed. At the time I had the distinct thought that being an artist was associated with struggling and poverty and I wanted no more of that. But now it's like a knife being turned when I see others with successful online art businesses. Still, it's good to have encouraging parents as many don't and this makes a huge difference in itself. Maybe it also creates the foundations on which to rebuild later in life too? I haven't picked up my arty stuff again either but I think the hope remains and I actually have some art materials in the corner of this very room. I wonder how it would feel to get back into it now? Maybe you'd have to start in a very small way - doodles or a bit of "stimmy" plastercine and the like - and see whether the artist in you will come out and take up full residence again?