Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just watching this Yo Samdy Sam video and already noticing (in spite of her posh, private school education - privilege alert!) that many of the teachers' observations are almost exaclty the same as on my own. Almost eerily, in fact, although I went to a very rough comprehensive in the North East of England. My reports were, on the face of it, rather good, but there are some little asides which indicate constant high levels of anxiety combined with my supposed "giftedness" (I was actually terrified into appearing "gifted", I now think). When I look back, I'm getting more of a feeling of, "My goodness - what did they do to me?" Very interesting, I think, And I'll probably reflect some more on this as I watch the rest. My "giftedness" didn't exactly carry over into most of the workplaces I got myself trapped in and I then experienced decades of anxiety and fairly poor mental health. So... and if you care to share, how was it for you? www.youtube.com/watch
I got "doing very well, but needs to contribute more in class" from pretty much every teacher.
I got that from some teachers for sure. They tended to be the younger, less wise ones who hadn't yet learned that extroversion and diligence aren't the same thing.
Case in point: I had two English Lit teachers for A-level: different halves of the syllabus. One of them was a lovely older lady who understood I'd be quiet in class but would get the courseworks done on
time, and she gave me very high marks and positive comments about high aptitude etc. The other was just starting her career (early twenties), very stingey with praise, and told my parents proudly at a parent-teacher thing that it amused her to single me out for awkward questions and she enjoyed seeing me go red with embarrassment. They were disgusted with that, rightly so. She didn't stay in teaching long, joined Riverdance I think - more of a calling I think, and hopefully she found fulfillment and happiness there, sparing other introverts the misery of her learning curve.
In most other subjects, I got middling or very poor (maths, chemistry, physics, computers) marks and 'tries hard and is always polite' kind of comments. I detested PE but always got a 'fair play, he always turns up for it and gives it a go' review for that. I did 'forget' my kit the very odd time - once a year or something, but the stress of the lie wasn't worth it.
Regarding PE - I detested it too, and it didn't escape my dad's attention that there were times when I'd ask him to write a note to excuse me because I had 'twisted my ankle'... and yet didn't appear to be in any obvious pain. It was quite a coincidence that my friends often had reasons as to why they needed to be excused from participating in PE too.
Shardovan said:sparing other introverts the misery of her learning curve.
The thing is, I'd expect many of those who are good at English to be introverts who love to read and reflect, so having an English teacher singling you out like that says much more about her than you.
I had one who was similar at A level, as she used to spout forth about it being no use being a "shrinking violet" and people who can't speak up not doing very well at university or in life generally. All of this really adds to the anxiety, of course, and had the opposite effect to what she (clumsily and thoughtlessly, for a literature teacher) intended. They should have been able to adapt the classes for all personality types, I think, and endeavour to get the best from us and for us.