Published on 12, July, 2020
I know this is a big question.
I also realise that it may depend on what stage in life you received your diagnosis and how much it affects your day to day living.
I've read quite a few times on the forum about people who were happy to receive a diagnosis but then later found themselves quite profoundly affected by it, in some ways 'negatively'.
I find that I think about little else now, that I mention it a lot to people, that the knowledge is affecting what I do.
This is a situation I'm not sure I'm happy about.
I think I'd like to start to be less introspective, to look outwards again.
Autism is not everything we are.
Or because it is so essentially us, is it really everything we are?
I thought I'd bump this back up again as one or two threads on the forum recently have reminded me of it.
I think that those of us 'diagnosed' late in life might be less inclined to say 'yes' than those aware of it from a young age.
An interesting point. Part of me wishes I’d been diagnosed in my teens so could have been helped to get my life on the right track.
But another part fears that I’d have labeled myself and used it as an excuse to achieve less in life.
So no, autism doesn’t define me. But just like my skin colour, hair, height, voice etc it is one of many things that have influenced who I’ve grown into.
Amerantin (former member) said:But another part fears that I’d have labeled myself and used it as an excuse to achieve less in life.
I'm similar but my concern isn't that I could have achieved less in life, as I don't feel I've achieved very much, in conventional terms, but rather that I wouldn't have trodden the path (stony as it was) that led me with bleeding feet to where I stand now.
Amerantin (former member) said:I’m not sure I’d have gone if I’d already decided I was less capable than I really am
That sentence say so much.
In 2013 I went on a holiday abroad myself for the first time. Just a few days. It was incredibly stressful and I might have backed out at any point in the lead up to it.
I’m not sure I’d have gone if I’d already decided I was less capable than I really am.
But I know what you mean: we may not be happy with every aspect of who we are now, but would we change it and be a different person? Not an easy question.