Scripting and rehearsing conversations

Yes I do that too. I have basic rehearsed questions and answers that I use in any social setting I can't avoid. If I absolutely have to make a phone call I need to plan and rehearse that in advance too. If the encounter goes off script I become much more anxious. Once the rehearsed phrases are are exhausted I usually do not have anything else to say. 

I now understand that it is a type of autistic masking. Like Dawn, before I realised I was autistic I didn't know that other people didn't do that. I have observed people in what I call 'natural' conversation and they make it look so easy. I could never do that.

I think it is mainly to try and counteract an auditory processing delay. If I do think of anything to contribute the conversation will have already moved on to something else. I hate it if people try to bring me into to a conversation by asking me a question. Sometimes one of my 'stock answers' will come out and it doesn't even relate to the question I was asked, my brain processes that later!

Expression of being doesn't end or begin with words. How do you think about things? In images? Or formulas? From my understanding a Typical Non-Autistic individuals with no added support needs will think in words. It's suggested they're scripting at a sub-conscious level and using words in a sort of code. I tend to think in visual imagery and when younger had difficulty accessing words or would have great difficulty finding the identification of what I could imagine or sense-perceive.

However, authenticity is more about expression of being. Who am I? What do I want? What am I interested in? This expression could be in how one puts themselves together, how they arrive and participate in a class, how they cook, what they build or create. What are you interested in? But even an actor prepares to tell a story with some kind of magic. Different actors could read the same script, but we would perceive a different, unique individual. 

Scripting is a way of making an effort for the sake of others. I think it's quite polite and affirming. But it's a Doing for the sake of another. And I once heard someone say we are human beings not human doings. Perhaps make sure to steal time for yourself and give your self to simply enjoy being affirmed your own indulgences and interests. Authentic "Being" will follow.

Head like a letterbox...I like that image.

Oh, answer is yep I do that too. Trouble is, before I realised I was Austic, I didn't know other people didn't do that! My journey has been as much about discovering that the rest of the population in fact has always been doing basic stuff differently from me, as learning that I have been doing basic stuff differently from them, oh!

No, it's not inauthentic though. It's about giving others your most honest truth. To do that you need to think it through, feel confident it is right and rehearse how to say it. Without that, when taken by surprise, I get what I call the "gulping goldfish moment'. The truth is in there, but for the moment I haven't thought of a way to express it such that others will understand, so nothing comes out for the time being.

I am minded of a case study on cross cultural communication styles from my undergrad days. Australian Aboriginal people are often slow to respond to law enforcers' questions, are thought 'shifty' and end up arrested. However, in their culture two old friends will meet, greet and then say nothing for a long while. They sit absorbing each other's presence before next speaking. The cultural imperative is think before you speak. The other person deserves your whole truth, so take time to think about that before you say anything at all. If only the law enforcement officers would wait, they would get that person's whole recollection and most accurate truth...

Scripting isn't necessarily inauthentic, it's thinking through how to say what you really mean and be understood.