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Scripting and rehearsing conversations

NAS81317

Hey everyone. Having also read recently about the concept of scripting and rehearsing conversations in advance apparently being common in autism, I'm interested what this place has to say about it. 

In what ways do you script and rehearse conversations in advance? Personally, I really relate to rehearsing what to say in advance, but it's never felt because of social anxiety. 

I have fake conversations in my head all the time, even for ones that probably won't happen. My head feels like a letter box fulled with separate future conversations that I know I'll need to make and even for former friends who aren't around anymore. Even speaking to my family members requires planned conversation in advance, I have no idea how normal people can have spontaneous conversation for hours on end. 

I can only think of what to say in life, I don't feel authentic and never have. I'll prepare phrases, topics and even jokes sometimes. If I stopped planning, I wouldn't have anything to say. 

Does any of this sound on someone on the spectrum? Thanks 

Parents

  • Head like a letterbox...I like that image.

    Oh, answer is yep I do that too. Trouble is, before I realised I was Austic, I didn't know other people didn't do that! My journey has been as much about discovering that the rest of the population in fact has always been doing basic stuff differently from me, as learning that I have been doing basic stuff differently from them, oh!

    No, it's not inauthentic though. It's about giving others your most honest truth. To do that you need to think it through, feel confident it is right and rehearse how to say it. Without that, when taken by surprise, I get what I call the "gulping goldfish moment'. The truth is in there, but for the moment I haven't thought of a way to express it such that others will understand, so nothing comes out for the time being.

    I am minded of a case study on cross cultural communication styles from my undergrad days. Australian Aboriginal people are often slow to respond to law enforcers' questions, are thought 'shifty' and end up arrested. However, in their culture two old friends will meet, greet and then say nothing for a long while. They sit absorbing each other's presence before next speaking. The cultural imperative is think before you speak. The other person deserves your whole truth, so take time to think about that before you say anything at all. If only the law enforcement officers would wait, they would get that person's whole recollection and most accurate truth...

    Scripting isn't necessarily inauthentic, it's thinking through how to say what you really mean and be understood.

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  • Head like a letterbox...I like that image.

    Oh, answer is yep I do that too. Trouble is, before I realised I was Austic, I didn't know other people didn't do that! My journey has been as much about discovering that the rest of the population in fact has always been doing basic stuff differently from me, as learning that I have been doing basic stuff differently from them, oh!

    No, it's not inauthentic though. It's about giving others your most honest truth. To do that you need to think it through, feel confident it is right and rehearse how to say it. Without that, when taken by surprise, I get what I call the "gulping goldfish moment'. The truth is in there, but for the moment I haven't thought of a way to express it such that others will understand, so nothing comes out for the time being.

    I am minded of a case study on cross cultural communication styles from my undergrad days. Australian Aboriginal people are often slow to respond to law enforcers' questions, are thought 'shifty' and end up arrested. However, in their culture two old friends will meet, greet and then say nothing for a long while. They sit absorbing each other's presence before next speaking. The cultural imperative is think before you speak. The other person deserves your whole truth, so take time to think about that before you say anything at all. If only the law enforcement officers would wait, they would get that person's whole recollection and most accurate truth...

    Scripting isn't necessarily inauthentic, it's thinking through how to say what you really mean and be understood.

Children