Being Used

Hi Ivy

I would suggest to restrain yourself from confronting them

As long that they do not know that you know they will act the same as before

but if you tell them they might turn openly hostile and start making your life miserable out of spite

it's something people without morals do sometimes

During my 25 years as adult I learnt that with some people I cannot be friends, because they would just use me the way your  would friends

So once I find out that someone aspiring to be friends with me does one of those tings:

* keeps asking for favours especially financial

* shows complete lack of morals, e.g. talks badly about people behind their back, or do not hesitate to cheat or steal

I decide it's to risky, and it won't work either way most likely

Despite that I made 2 friends, and there is potential 3rd, but I know him only a year, so I'm not sure yet

About your 4 would friends I would start ghosting them

Ivy,

I too have been taken advatage of and used, e.g. I've twice had people steal things from my house after being invited in.

My advice is to just walk away, they are not who you thought they were; they are, in fact, two faced liars. You don't need them.

I know it hurts when you find out, but you will get over it..

At least you now know.

You are a better person than any of them.

Ben

I understand; completely.

But once you hit a low, true friendships emerge.

Hi Ivy, Im sorry to hear you've been through this. I have been through the same thing and I have to say once friends say stuff like that about you there is usually no way back. Sometimes its easier to just cut ties no matter how painful it is as trying to keep hanging around them is just gonna open you up to a lifetime of hurt. 
I had a group of friends that treated me like that and I hung out with them many years after I should have stopped and opened myself up to needless hurt. When I had a credit card they were happy to let me pay for eveything, drinks, taxis, takeways etc but as soon as I was skint and needed them to help me they started calling me a scrounger and a freeloader and saying I was always trying to scam free stuff off them.

You sound like a lovely person Ivy and trust me you deserve friends WAY better than these people. Value yourself, take some time to get to know yourself and love yourself and then, eventually, the right friends might come along. 
But just respect yourself and know that people with these attitudes are the problem not you

Sorry if I went on too long there!

I'm feeling a bit easier now. It was upsetting but I try to move on now and not worry about what I heard. I thought about saying to them about what they said but I don't know how to bring it up or what to sa come to that. But maybe saying will show them the were wrong and it might help. I'm meant to see them tomorrow so I try to talk about it then.

That's appalling that they said that, and I'm so sorry that you're feeling such understandable hurt over this. I think it's worth letting them know you overheard and let them try and explain themselves. Even if it was someone else they said that of, it's such a needlessly offensive descriptor that they've sadly not been the people you thought they were. On the other hand, people are complicated and imperfect, and may feel genuinely (and rightly) bad about it if you bring it up, and take a long hard look at themselves. Just hope you're doing OK as that's awful. Better to know of course, hard as it is.

Hey Alisha,

Thanks x

I'm with you I prefer being alone especially now I don't think I'll bother with friends agai now.

Thank you!

Ivy xx

Hey,

I am so sorry that you had to hear that. that's really horrible

i agree that it's super difficult to work out who true friends are. I prefer to be on my own so it's not really an issue for me but i know it is for a lot of people

feel free to private message me if you want to chat

Alisha xx