Disclosing autism at work

I don't think you have done anything wrong at any point. Having said that, I think that if you have said you don't need any reasonable adjustments, your work colleagues probably will leave it at that. My advice would be to think about whether you actually do need any adjustments. That will depend on you, your job, etc. I'm quite lucky that I don't, really, because I work from home, especially these days. But don't not ask because you 'don't want to be a fuss' - if you need adjustments, you are entitled to them.

manofkent said:

(eg always text to check they can call before phoning me!)

I always do this before I call others and I try to encourage others to do it for me too.  My ideal is to arrange a time for the call so that I am properly prepared and able to engage my mind to the topic required.  Mainly, people are tone-deaf about the little things like this that disproportionally impact our state of well being. 

I work in NHS and few commented - only my closest colleagues have asked me what it means for them in terms of how to support me and how I want them to act/describe stuff etc.  That's been really good and I feel like they've really taken stuff on board (eg always text to check they can call before phoning me!).  My wider team have said nothing and act no differently which can cause difficulties.

Ahh anxiety, the very effective way to get through to the NT, though a double edged sword!

I have found it makes things more difficult in that I am 'high functioning' but it does allow those who care to think and look into it (and talk to me about it) understand the nuances.  The one that really makes me massively angry is those who say 'were all on the spectrum'.  This is often to belittle it or I think to tell me that I'm making a fuss. 

My present job is in IT / medicine and though we have autistics coming out of our ears and 15,000 staff (!) there is no autistic voice in the organisation.  We have loads of LGBT (rightly) but NO AUTISM group for staff at all!  I think its the 'everyones autistic' brigade that prevents this, and the sheer breadth of autistic behaviours. 

When I chose to disclose to work I have decided to overemphasize certain things and play up to characteristics I can exaggerate knowing that then they may be taken seriously.  For me that's quiet surroundings, having requests confirmed in writing and noise cancelling headphones, and I've managed to convince them I cant do repetitive tasks (a partial truth) such as the incredibly boring IT support, and have played up my kookiness to become a graphics expert.  This means half the time they don't know what to do with me, but don't want to lose me and my very broad high level skill set in a lowly paid job, then the other half I am working on something at least a bit interesting, but nowhere near my capacity!

You're funny :) Thanks for making me smile.

Just about anything conversational would have been nice, but it's early days and ill wait and see. The team has a get together on the horizon so something might be discussed then when guards are lowered. Meanwhile I get the assessment feedback next week hopefully so even I could do with knowing more about my condition before I go Karen on people.

I think you're very insightful about your perspective on this and it resonates that there was a switcheroo of some kind. I suppose I should be pleased with the role reversal but it feels like I have rattled a lions den.

Everyone is at the centre of their own world. What is really important to us often isn't for other people. I have found upon telling people they probably haven't responded for various reasons...they don't know what to say, I don't fit a stereotypical profile, they don't want to offend,  they don't actually know what it means for me unless I tell them. I realised you can tell people you are autistic but so what? What do they do with this information unless you tell them how it affects you or how you need support? I think often we have a very good understanding of our own autism but we need to remember other people don't even know 1% of it. Ive found with my own line mgr I can approach things from the "anxiety" angle and get a better response than from the "autism" angle. I think this is because she is more comfortable with "anxiety" as it's more familiar. 

I think as autistic people we need certainty. We need to know our communication has been received correctly so to get a flat response off people doesn't tell us either way if the situation is positive or negative and leaves us wondering.

That's stuck you with second-guessing the reason(s) for their reactions. I'd say it's because they have no idea about what the autistic spectrum can be. I might be hesitant to ask you to elaborate and suggest my own ignorance.

I personally would have highlighted a few situations where you're aware you behave differently to how they might expect others to behave. You can still do that the next time you're on Teams with them - perhaps give them a list of autistic traits that apply to you.

its kinda like them saying their usual "hi how are you?" then just getting your single answer "fine" response then waiting in silence having expected you to elaborate and have a full length story for them but having nothing for them lol think of it as revenge, you finally put them into a position where they have a silence with nothing they can say but you expected them to say something and thus made them feel awkward knowing they are expected to say something and not being able to think on it. you switcherood it on the for once and made them feel the way most of us always feel

i dunno... like, no adjustments needed to be made you said, so they cant do anything with that information...

they kinda got put into a situation of no response, they dont need to make adjustments... they cant congratulate you for it because its not a congratulating thing.... they cant say sorry for it as its nothing to be sorry about or feel sorry for you about it... they cant say or do anything...

Yea - that was my motivation too ie to explain my eccentric approaches - but one of my more enlightened associates has suggested that "no one else cares so long as you get the work done and don't cause chaos."  I think there might be some wise insight in that?

My work life is like "ASD Fight Club" !!

I've had the same boss for 23 years now and he is a weird one!

Very occasionally loving and nurturing towards me, but generally a dogmatic and cold entity who is only interested in getting the work done to the nth degree and to a level of perfection that surpasses all reasonableness.  He only seems to want to tackle the hardest possible projects and then completely immerses himself in them and expects everyone to toe the line.  To be fair, he normally prevails, but often at great personal cost.

If you haven't guessed......I work for myself.

I don't wish to inundate people, but hopefully with the assessment feedback I get, I will be able to find some suggestions on things that adjustments might improve. It is in their interest so that they can get even more out of me. That said, I think it was more the social aspect that I said it for, since I am a bit eccentric at work and my motive in declaring autism was to clarify that.

It sounds like you work in a very accepting company.

It shouldn't be such a big deal whatsoever, especially if you have worked at the place for so long. It isn't fair that I should feel an alien to them and suffer that disparity, but not be able to talk about it for fear of going too meta. Having broached the idea that I can be spoken to about my differences, I have become a social criminal in a way, though that might be an exaggeration. That said, I'm somewhat righteous about it having heard your take on it and having listened to my partner's reassurance that I did the right thing in telling my colleagues. 

I think that people in general know so little about autism that they do not feel able to comment or ask questions. That is unless they are very close family or  friends, who will feel less inhibited from asking questions.

It might be useful to collect some leaflets and other written information about autism and give them to your line manager, along with some information compiled by yourself on how your autism affects you.

Employers are obliged by law to make 'reasonable accommodations' so that you are not disadvantaged by your autism, relative to your non-autistic colleagues. They should go through a procedure with you, whether you want it or not, in order to comply with legislation and to cover their backs against any possible legal action against them on the grounds of disability discrimination.

NAS81850 said:

'what does it matter anyway, we're all on the spectrum to a degree' didn't sink in too well, since it undervalues the whole thing of getting seen to. 

If my experience is anything to go by.....oh my God, it matters very much indeed !!

However, in terms of whether it is a good idea to "expose" oneself at work - I'm still on the fence about this.

Perhaps I'm just a coward?....but the subjective accounts that I have read (and there aren't many out there to be found,) suggest that it can cause substantial damage to a career.  Moreover, in the professions that inevitably house a high proportion of ASD (medical, engineering, finance, R&D etc) talk of autism seems to be extremely muted.  It can be found, but only in very hushed tones and in the shadows behind the bike sheds!

I'm very far from being a sheeple, but I do look at the experiences and actions of those who have gone before.  Accordingly, I am being very circumspect about spreading my news at work.  Its hard though, because my work contacts account for 99% of my "friends" and this news is the most important that I have probably ever had from a personal perspective - so I want to shout it from the roof tops like a loony tune.........and that fact alone is probably reason enough to employ restraint?

This is a really tricky issue that continues to perplex.

I do hope that others will contribute to this thread that you have started - I am very interested to know the opinions of others on this topic.

Hello, I was diagnosed in May this year, age 56, I’ve worked at my place a long time and told my manager and a few colleagues. Manager has been very good because I did ask for adjustments, I said I didn’t want to go on the reception desk as it’s really busy, she agreed and said I could work in the back office. Colleagues were also good although a few said, well I’d never have guessed etc etc. in the end I’m glad I told them, it’s just made me feel better about myself. And if people don’t like it it’s hard lines. I feel much better about myself since I found out. Best of luck to you, keep going.