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Disclosing autism at work

NAS81850

I told my team colleagues on the team Teams call this Tuesday that I found out Friday before that I am on the spectrum. I felt I had to, to not keep that to myself and to hopefully get my colleagues talking about it and get some feedback on how 'oh yes it makes sense now I have always thought that etc.'. But when I said it to my team, it felt like it fell flat and even at my 1:1 with my line manager this thursday gone, it wasn't brought up. I said I didn't need any adjustments because I didn't want it to be a fuss. 

I feel a superposition of: stupid for having told everyone, embarrassment at what they think of me, and righteous for having told them considering it took courage to say it. I have felt upset since Tuesday, and haven't had the courage to raise that I have been upset with my colleagues, because I already think I gave them a burdensome piece of information without reminding them of it. It made for emotional pain and self hatred for the rest of the week and now it is weekend I'm able to look back and feel calmer about it. I feel my trust having been broken however and I won't be bringing it up again with my colleagues, unless they approach me about it. Thing is; I don't even know the truth about it, so the truth could be something which makes me silly for having felt this, but the lack of specific communication received has left my mind wandering.

Should I have received more engagement about it from my manager and colleagues, even so much as a well done for letting everyone know? 

Has anyone else experienced declaration of being on the spectrum fall flat because nobody seems to know how to respond to it?

Parents

  • I have found it makes things more difficult in that I am 'high functioning' but it does allow those who care to think and look into it (and talk to me about it) understand the nuances.  The one that really makes me massively angry is those who say 'were all on the spectrum'.  This is often to belittle it or I think to tell me that I'm making a fuss. 

    My present job is in IT / medicine and though we have autistics coming out of our ears and 15,000 staff (!) there is no autistic voice in the organisation.  We have loads of LGBT (rightly) but NO AUTISM group for staff at all!  I think its the 'everyones autistic' brigade that prevents this, and the sheer breadth of autistic behaviours. 

    When I chose to disclose to work I have decided to overemphasize certain things and play up to characteristics I can exaggerate knowing that then they may be taken seriously.  For me that's quiet surroundings, having requests confirmed in writing and noise cancelling headphones, and I've managed to convince them I cant do repetitive tasks (a partial truth) such as the incredibly boring IT support, and have played up my kookiness to become a graphics expert.  This means half the time they don't know what to do with me, but don't want to lose me and my very broad high level skill set in a lowly paid job, then the other half I am working on something at least a bit interesting, but nowhere near my capacity!

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  • I have found it makes things more difficult in that I am 'high functioning' but it does allow those who care to think and look into it (and talk to me about it) understand the nuances.  The one that really makes me massively angry is those who say 'were all on the spectrum'.  This is often to belittle it or I think to tell me that I'm making a fuss. 

    My present job is in IT / medicine and though we have autistics coming out of our ears and 15,000 staff (!) there is no autistic voice in the organisation.  We have loads of LGBT (rightly) but NO AUTISM group for staff at all!  I think its the 'everyones autistic' brigade that prevents this, and the sheer breadth of autistic behaviours. 

    When I chose to disclose to work I have decided to overemphasize certain things and play up to characteristics I can exaggerate knowing that then they may be taken seriously.  For me that's quiet surroundings, having requests confirmed in writing and noise cancelling headphones, and I've managed to convince them I cant do repetitive tasks (a partial truth) such as the incredibly boring IT support, and have played up my kookiness to become a graphics expert.  This means half the time they don't know what to do with me, but don't want to lose me and my very broad high level skill set in a lowly paid job, then the other half I am working on something at least a bit interesting, but nowhere near my capacity!

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