Disclosing autism at work

My selective 'coming out' declarations to people have resulted in;

80% = completely fall flat.  Nothing said.  Everyone looks at their shoes and moves on as swiftly as possible.

19% = "we're all on the spectrum / "I would never have guessed" / "wow - that's weird" .......moves on as swiftly as possible.

1% = Some form of active engagement, more often than not many days or a few weeks later.  Half positive, half negative.

Some people seem to have abandoned me completely - aka a hard swipe left - and some of those people have been important in my life for 30+ years.  This has cut me to the quick.  

In the words of that famous entertainer, philosopher and philanthropist - "It ain't easy, being green."

"I am what I am, and you can't change me." - Ben's Brother.

Thanks a lot for your reply. It's reassuring. I have nice colleagues in my team just to put it on the table, I think they may just be biding their time to research or something. I think since even the person in my team most capable of ice-breaking found themselves frozen, nobody else dared utter a word. It became up to me to usher the topic on and how gladly they took the offer. 

I've heard the 'we're all on the spectrum' thing from a friend. I was struggling mentally with the ambiguity of my diagnosis procedure at the time, and this sense of 'what does it matter anyway, we're all on the spectrum to a degree' didn't sink in too well, since it undervalues the whole thing of getting seen to. 

Thanks a lot for your reply. It's reassuring. I have nice colleagues in my team just to put it on the table, I think they may just be biding their time to research or something. I think since even the person in my team most capable of ice-breaking found themselves frozen, nobody else dared utter a word. It became up to me to usher the topic on and how gladly they took the offer. 

I've heard the 'we're all on the spectrum' thing from a friend. I was struggling mentally with the ambiguity of my diagnosis procedure at the time, and this sense of 'what does it matter anyway, we're all on the spectrum to a degree' didn't sink in too well, since it undervalues the whole thing of getting seen to. 

My work life is like "ASD Fight Club" !!

I've had the same boss for 23 years now and he is a weird one!

Very occasionally loving and nurturing towards me, but generally a dogmatic and cold entity who is only interested in getting the work done to the nth degree and to a level of perfection that surpasses all reasonableness.  He only seems to want to tackle the hardest possible projects and then completely immerses himself in them and expects everyone to toe the line.  To be fair, he normally prevails, but often at great personal cost.

If you haven't guessed......I work for myself.

It shouldn't be such a big deal whatsoever, especially if you have worked at the place for so long. It isn't fair that I should feel an alien to them and suffer that disparity, but not be able to talk about it for fear of going too meta. Having broached the idea that I can be spoken to about my differences, I have become a social criminal in a way, though that might be an exaggeration. That said, I'm somewhat righteous about it having heard your take on it and having listened to my partner's reassurance that I did the right thing in telling my colleagues. 

NAS81850 said:

'what does it matter anyway, we're all on the spectrum to a degree' didn't sink in too well, since it undervalues the whole thing of getting seen to. 

If my experience is anything to go by.....oh my God, it matters very much indeed !!

However, in terms of whether it is a good idea to "expose" oneself at work - I'm still on the fence about this.

Perhaps I'm just a coward?....but the subjective accounts that I have read (and there aren't many out there to be found,) suggest that it can cause substantial damage to a career.  Moreover, in the professions that inevitably house a high proportion of ASD (medical, engineering, finance, R&D etc) talk of autism seems to be extremely muted.  It can be found, but only in very hushed tones and in the shadows behind the bike sheds!

I'm very far from being a sheeple, but I do look at the experiences and actions of those who have gone before.  Accordingly, I am being very circumspect about spreading my news at work.  Its hard though, because my work contacts account for 99% of my "friends" and this news is the most important that I have probably ever had from a personal perspective - so I want to shout it from the roof tops like a loony tune.........and that fact alone is probably reason enough to employ restraint?

This is a really tricky issue that continues to perplex.

I do hope that others will contribute to this thread that you have started - I am very interested to know the opinions of others on this topic.