Published on 12, July, 2020
Something I've posted about before, I know, but because of the deep seated and longstanding issues within my family, I'm always on the lookout for further information. Now, I've just been watching this video on "The Burnout Recovery cycle", which admittedly will be useful to some to enable them to plan and cope. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG_41uh-WAIAnd yes, It might have been useful for me in the past and I can see how it works for a well motivated individual like Paul Micallef. But, like many of the speakers and advocates I follow, there he is looking well groomed, organised and very much in control of his life. I accept that appearances can be deceptive and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors in a person's private life. But even taking that into consideration, this still feels very different from our family problems with burnout. All the speakers and autistic advocates I can find seem very well informed and motivated, not to mention very well groomed and presentable. And within our family we see a very different picture. People who opt out or withdraw altogether, never rejoin society, major difficulties with personal hygiene and too burnout to do very much at all other than very basic things like eating and going to the loo. Motivation is low, especially given the mental health issues that then accumulate (unhelped by services who have been able to offer nothing - we've tried) and anything else is understandably a low priority (if basic survival is a problem, you're not going to be thinking about how greasy your hair is, for example). And they're not really in any position to use self management strategies such as those outlined in this video. If they were, they'd already be well on the way to recovery, with only minor support from others. So... Is this really ALL burnout? Should the term have subdivisions (e.g. to cover a range from brief, episodic burnout that is amenable to self help to almost total collapse and withdrawal)? How can we best support someone in this situation? And where are the videos from people who've recovered from, say, years of burnout and needed significant support in the meantime? Is there anywhere that families can turn for more specific advice and guidance? It's very hard not to feel desperate about this.
The 30 seconds of this video from 3:30 to 4:00 is post-prophetic to me. It describes my experience.
Sincere thanks for bringing this video to my attention. I will probably use it to try and help explain my life to some people who haven't been able to understand / believe my past attempts at explanation but who might be able to further their understanding with this type of "Dr Youtube" format.
In terms of your comment about the video - I'm a bit confused by your statement that;
Jenny Butterfly said:So... Is this really ALL burnout? Should the term have subdivisions (e.g. to cover a range from brief, episodic burnout that is amenable to self help to almost total collapse and withdrawal)?
My understanding of the video is that he DOES refer to small episodic burnouts AND long-term / mega burnouts?
In terms of your question related to this video;
Jenny Butterfly said:And where are the videos from people who've recovered from, say, years of burnout and needed significant support in the meantime? Is there anywhere that families can turn for more specific advice and guidance?
I am in the latter stages of recovery from a very substantial burnout. Certainly measured in years - but it would be folly to try and put a precise time on it. Complications regarding the peculiarities and particulars of my life undoubtedly muddy the situation.
Based on my experience, I can fully understand why you (and I) have failed to find any videos regarding recovery from years of burnout. I'm really not sure how one would (or could) tackle such a task. It would be even longer than 'War and Peace' and substantially more insufferable. If not that - it would be trite nonsense.
I feel uncomfortable expressing more to you in public forum, but really want to help if I can because I know just how much;
Jenny Butterfly said:It's very hard not to feel desperate
I expect that profound and prolonged burnout is a highly personalised and private experience for each human - but if you want, ping me a private message and I'll do my best to help you in any way I can with information about my own experience.
What I can tell you here, is that I managed to survive through my darkest months and years despite being decidedly "average" in the grander scale of things - I'm not especially bright and I'm certainly not especially well resourced. I've now got plenty of metaphorical scars, caused extensive collateral damage and I still have a monumental 'clean-up' operation to conduct. But I'm here ! Yay!!!!!!
If I can get this far, I'm sure you and your family can too. Try and keep the faith that EVERY problem has solutions, even when you have absolutely no clue what they might be. Stay sane. Try to laugh about it - I found it really helped to laugh at my own hopelessness - it released a lot of inner tension.
I hope this helps you a little, and thanks again for drawing the video to my attention.
Kindest regards to you and your family.
You aren't average. Average is a self fulfilling label you repeat to keep yourself from feeling good about being you. Probably after years of being made to feel less-than by a world setup to get as much out of you as possible, with little care for the person inside who is giving it.
I hope you can find time to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and escape the external noise
Thank you.....but I can't escape the external noise at the moment due to "the monumental clean-up" to which I refer above. I need my wits about me. It is massively draining.