The burnout problem

Something I've posted about before, I know, but because of the deep seated and longstanding issues within my family, I'm always on the lookout for further information. 

Now, I've just been watching this video on "The Burnout Recovery cycle", which admittedly will be useful to some to enable them to plan and cope.  

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG_41uh-WAI

And yes, It might have been useful for me in the past and I can see how it works for a well motivated individual like Paul Micallef.  But, like many of the speakers and advocates I follow, there he is looking well groomed, organised and very much in control of his life.  I accept that appearances can be deceptive and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors in a person's private life.  But even taking that into consideration, this still feels very different from our family problems with burnout.  

All the speakers and autistic advocates I can find seem very well informed and motivated, not to mention very well groomed and presentable.  And within our family we see a very different picture.  People who opt out or withdraw altogether, never rejoin society, major difficulties with personal hygiene and too burnout to do very much at all other than very basic things like eating and going to the loo.  Motivation is low, especially given the mental health issues that then accumulate (unhelped by services who have been able to offer nothing - we've tried) and anything else is understandably a low priority (if basic survival is a problem, you're not going to be thinking about how greasy your hair is, for example).   And they're not really in any position to use self management strategies such as those outlined in this video.  If they were, they'd already be well on the way to recovery, with only minor support from others.  

So...  Is this really ALL burnout?  Should the term have subdivisions (e.g. to cover a range from brief, episodic burnout that is amenable to self help to almost total collapse and withdrawal)?  How can we best support someone in this situation?  And where are the videos from people who've recovered from, say, years of burnout and needed significant support in the meantime?  Is there anywhere that families can turn for more specific advice and guidance?       

It's very hard not to feel desperate about this. 

Parents Reply Children
  • Thanks H.  It feels as though my best falls short, which makes it feel pretty much the same as when it happened to my dad in the 70s.  All of those years and I still don't know what to do.  I think I've ironed out a fair few "what not to do's though!

    Otherwise, we're simply holding steady with the approach I've mentioned before:

    Maintaining a safe, comfortable, low arousal environment,

    Low - no demands,

    Good food + occasional treats,

    Remaining as person-centred as we can, ready to listen and continuing to give occasional invites to shared activities (always refused, unfortunately, but my thinking is that it's better to feel included).  

    No fussing, no forcing, keeping it calm and natural.  

    Can't help wondering though - if I were channeling the perfect parent, how might this look?