Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone!
I just joined today. I have been recently feeling down as my social skills is still an issue.
Recently my bf told me last weekend that I don't know how to have a conversation, all I do is talk at him, go on about the same stuff, talk for hours, repeat myself and always talk about my same interests and never engage in a 2 way conversation.
He also asked why I don't notice that he isn't talking back, looking bored, and not engaging with me.
I am simply not aware that I do that, all I know is that I am very comfortable with him to share and talk about my passion and interests. In no way do I feel like I'm talking at him, plus I'm not good at reading people's body language, so I had no idea he was bored, I thought he was just listening cause he was interested in the conversation.
On the other hand I am very quiet and awkward around people I don't know, don't feel comfortable with or just can't connect with. There are only a couple people in my life I have this over talkative nature with. For I'm mostly known for being quiet, shy and social awkward.
I dunno what to do any more or how to control this, when I don't talk much he thinks, I'm depressed or something is wrong. When I suddenly talk, I'm this annoying machine that doesn't stop.
This is why I don't have any friends really as I don't know how to engage properly with people.
Does anyone else have this problem?
Thank you for reading.
Hope said:Does anyone else have this problem?
everysingle one of us most likely
you are truly blessed, (like every second autistic) and you're alexithymic as well
it means, you can block your feelings almost indefinitely (there is a limit without indicator, crossing it means meltdown). e.g. during 8h at work, that means you can relax your masking which has to be overseen actively, block goes on passive, and that mental capacity focus on dealing with conversation
you can't read body language, so you won't know they showing you to stop, so I stop after two sentences as a rule, otherwise I would talk them to the death while keeping them, standing up as my friends joke
you need to discharge/ process blocked feelings everytime you get back home, takes me hour daily
they will never understand you were trying to share your joy
Thanx you.
I will try this stopping after 2 sentence. Is going to be hard, as my brain runs fast and my mouth is trying to speed up with it.
I'm always calculating everything I say and do, and I always have this time limit to get every word out like it's going to be the last time I will ever speak to them.
But also with that I get lost in my passion in what I'm talking about and think, aah finally I feel comfortable to talk with someone.
I will try that, I will probably count in my favourite numbers to stop and give them a chance. Thanx you.