Published on 12, July, 2020
It sounds bizarre even to me, but I couldn't tell what is my special interest, it bugged me all the time.
It was like in a polish poem for kids about Mister Hilary looking for his glasses, while he had them on his nose all along.
After I watched Autistamtic's video about special interests, I decided there is only one possibility - Thinking.
I do have many interests, some of them time and money consuming, but there is only one that persisted through my whole life - Thinking.
It is my safe place where I escape when in need. I do not need to be told to do it, and nobody can break in.
I'm doing it for hours sometimes without noticing how long I am doing tt. If it wasn't for alarms I set, I would often miss moment when I'm supposed to get up and go to work, I'm so engrossed in it.
I can think about anything and everything, because it stimulates my special interest. The more wierd, unexplainable, uncommon, the better, it will make think longer.
It would explain why I do not stick to one branch of knowledge, I read and absorb all, whatever I currently need to thinik about.
When I meet my friends I can talk about what I was thinking about lately with so much excitment and at increased speed, that I can tell they do not know how to interject. But I want their opinions too so I stop sometimes.
I come up with many radical, abstract conclusions often, to things nobody bothered to think about, but for me existing explanation was lacking, so I had to do it.
Does it make any sense to you?
Have you heard about special interest that does not exist in a real word?
Is it possible?
I have a few interests that I pursue in great detail and perhaps they are special interests, but during my diagnosis interviews I tried (and failed in my opinion) to explain the importance of thinking and imagination in my life. I have always thought about things in extreme detail and often get lost in tangents and linking ideas as the thoughts develop. I have tried to describe these thought patterns as daydreaming to help others understand, but that phrase just doesn’t quite explain what is actually going on. I still don’t have the words now, but our thoughts really are our own to be explored as we wish. They are there, they do exist and they are potentially a great way to make sense of a confusing world. A least that’s my view on it. Enjoy your thoughts, I know I will mine. I also now, after many years of negotiation with myself, recognise that I have to make time each day for mine because if not, burn-out is imminent!
It's my safeplace and nobody can break in