Published on 12, July, 2020
TL;DR - I was diagnosed early but was never given a full understanding of my autism. Now struggling a lot as an adult trying to live independently and need to understand myself better in order to move on, but don’t know where to start. Help??
————-Hi all, newbie here!
So I was diagnosed with autism as a child - started assessments as a toddler but didn’t receive a final diagnosis until I was 9/10 years old. I only went to mainstream schools, with a statement during primary and secondary that was then dramatically reduced during college (which was a huuuuuge mistake but that’s a discussion for another day).
Because I did receive a lot of support early on and because I’m on the “low support needs” end of the spectrum, I never really thought much about my autism before. I lived my whole life being told the dreaded “you don’t seem autistic” comment, but young naive me saw that as a good thing at the time because that meant people thought I was somewhat “normal” despite having a diagnosis that didn’t really bother me.
Fast forward to being an adult, and things are completely different. I completely crashed and burned during college, jumped between dead-end jobs before landing a kitchen role which I’ve been in for 3 years. I thought being a chef would end up being my career, but slowly realised that the environment is completely wrong (sensory overload, lack of routine).
Combine that with the pandemic and having moved out of my parents home into my partner’s flat last year, I’ve suddenly come to the realisation that my autism really does affect me, I just don’t fully know how because it was masked so heavily during my school years.
I’ve completely burned out, looking after myself and our flat is a struggle, I need to leave my job but am scared of jumping from job to job again, I just…. I feel stuck and I think the only way I’ll be properly able to move on is if I start to get a proper grasp of what autism means for me as an individual.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you come to understand your diagnosis? Any suggestions on resources/coping mechanisms?
Tara,
I’ve been studying, keeping up to date about autism for just over 20 years now, I got curious about it when I kept hearing my dad say “my son’s autistic”.
The best way is to find and listen to other autistic people who you are more related to online, like if you have access to YouTube there’s lots of autism self-advocates sharing their life experiences, especially on the “Ted talk channel”. With autism being a spectrum you will need to listen to many.
One piece of advice I have is don’t look at autism through a negative perspective, look at and embrace the advantages that the neurological differences have to offer. Don’t fall for the political idea that a healthy or successful life is defined by self-sufficiency, our societies overvalue self-sufficiency.