Published on 12, July, 2020
Keep Fighting. x
I'm fed up of fighting. I don't want to be autistic. I hate being autistic. I hate being different.
Hey mate, I’m sorry to read this, I know how difficult being Autistic can be. Are you receiving any help at all?
Yeah I'm having weekly mentoring sessions. Part of the focus of these sessions is living with autism, coping strategies, being able to believe in myself and engage with society a bit better. My autism diagnosis I got in March of this year. I've exhibited a lot of traits of autism pretty much all my life, but when I was assessed for it at ages 9 and 20, I was told I wasn't autistic. It was only when I struggled with job interviews and online assessments that my parents suggested I try again to get a proper autism assessment. That led to the diagnosis in March, along with comorbid PTSD. I was bullied a bit at school because of my autism.
I found university life (2019-2023 was when I did my degree) quite difficult because of autism and covid pandemic and my grandfather passed away March 2020, and my brother passed away July 2021. It's just been tough and some days I am just so angry at the world. I tried to mask my autism all my life and that didn't always work. I will be starting a graduate scheme this September 16th and I'm really nervous for it. I want to fit in and get along well with my colleagues.
I'll try to be kinder to myself, it's not easy but I know it's worth trying.
Gosh mate it sounds as though you’ve been through a lot, I didn’t even manage to finish University due to my Autism. Please be kind to yourself, you’ve been through a lot.