Hello… anyone feel judged with the way they are? Like being autistic or something like that??.
Hello… anyone feel judged with the way they are? Like being autistic or something like that??.
I can totally relate to what you feel, lots of negative attention from the community like laughing/staring really hate it and makes me sad. Since I have grown up I feel like I have turned into someone who doesn't like to be in the centre of attention almost feel like I have lost my sparkle cause I used to dance and sing and have lots of fun but since I have got older my life has slightly turned downwards and I am that person now where I like to keep myself to myself and be quiet away from the community outside.
A great example would be when I was sitting by a fountain listening to water sounds I did nothing just walked up to sit on the bench and this lady and her daughter just randomly started smirking and I got really upset and annoyed by it. I almost felt like I wanted to cry because I was angry. Things like this are happening alot to me on a regular basis for no reason. I have been told by a few people that I probably need to work on my confidence a bit more which I completely agree but having autism comes with severe anxiety for some people and based on my experience and learning about it I am much more aware that this could be all related to you feeling "nervous" or "anxious" the sad truth it's part of having autism.
Sometimes though, like at work when my boss comment EVERYDAY on the fact that I have the same "weird boring" stuff for lunch (are crisps and cereal bars weird? Also who manages to have unique lunch every day?)
I think eating crisps and cereal bars for lunch everyday would only be weird if you didn't enjoy eating them. Also, not everyone has adventurous tastes and wants to try different foods. I have often been deemed to have a boring and limited diet because there is a lot of food that I do not like the taste of.
I've seen this as well in workplaces, scrutinising diets seems to be one more irritating 'small talk' nuance. Now I'm working again I am glad I drive and have my car to go to for my break on my own and rather than eating in shared areas. If asked what I've had I've just replied that I preferred not to say in front of everyone, one notable response from a (now ex) colleague was they got particularly taken aback and said "I wasn't going to judge you I just thought it was something to ask to get to know you". I always thought of diets as a private thing while so many past and present colleagues are clearly so public about them.
I do when I spend time with neurotypicals. Like they know that I’m autistic, but still expect me not to act autistic, and tut when I misjudge when to start talking in a conversation, or start problem solving something that they’ve spoken about (but they don’t want problem solving).
I'm on the Pathway and I want to get a diagnosis so I can access services because I need some support atm.....but I'm very torn about telling HR at work, even though it could help me. I feel like if you have a problem with a co-worker they'll just go "oh, well, that's because you're Autistic" rather than taking the matter seriously.
Exactly got it in one. Yes it was hard work but I managed to respond in a polite and calm manner. So far she's been the only one to actually say it to my face. A little upsetting but I suppose that's life at times.
I am appalled that the mother of that boy had the audacity to say what she did to you. I can imagine the response you gave was through gritted teeth. A case of attempting to smile sweetly, whilst inwardly seething.
I thought about it believe me. Took a lot of self control to not say exactly what I thought :-)
I would have been sorely tempted to reply, "I don't like the idea of ignorant, insensitive people having charge of impressionable children, even if they are their own offspring".
Yes I feel judgement from most people. My own mum is very judging sadly, she just doesn't understand autism. And I also felt extremely judged by a parent of a boy I taught. He was struggling and I let slip I was autistic and his mum said she didn't like the idea of someone with autism being near her son. Sadly people don't understand and do judge.
I think that most autistics who live life trying to fit in and camouflage, have a feeling of being judged for a lot of the time. I know that I did for most of my life, until I reached late middle-age, when I began to care much less what other people thought about me. I think that it stems from our lack of social instincts, we are intellectually trying to copy others, so that life becomes something like a performance. Of course, performances tend to be judged and there is always a niggling doubt that our 'acting the part of a neurotypical' is inadequate. This leads to confidence issues and heightened anxiety.
I think eating crisps and cereal bars for lunch everyday would only be weird if you didn't enjoy eating them. Also, not everyone has adventurous tastes and wants to try different foods. I have often been deemed to have a boring and limited diet because there is a lot of food that I do not like the taste of.
What you say about judging people to be a human thing is something I agree with. I know I can be guilty of judging people, even when I try hard not to.
Yes, all the time. I'm kind of obsessed with getting people to like, I'm starting to think it might even count as a special interest. Mostly the judgement is by me projecting my thoughts onto others.
Sometimes though, like at work when my boss comment EVERYDAY on the fact that I have the same "weird boring" stuff for lunch (are crisps and cereal bars weird? Also who manages to have unique lunch every day?) I know that I am being judged by someone else for real and it upsets me, but then I very quickly just get angry (internally) at the other person (which is not good).
But I will admit that I judge people too, I think it's a human thing that allows us to make quicker decision about people. I judged my friend for putting a penny she found on a wet public bathroom floor in her mouth and now I won't eat anything she has touched.
People are weird, relationships are weird, judgment is a thing that isn't going anywhere. I would just keep being your most comfortable you and not worry too much about judgment of others. One day you might prove their judgements wrong. But you definitely can't force a whole world of people to be kind and think the same way you do (unfortunately)
I don’t do being judged, I’m me, I’m autistic, I’m not mad or bad. I’m just different. I’ve been thinking of my childhood as the ugly duckling, it turns out that the ugly duckling was actually a swan. The rest of the pond will only ever be ducks!
I do, but I'm not always sure if it is just my perception and a case of feeling paranoid.
To put it into some kind of context, I feel sure that most of my relatives think I am intentionally lazy and workshy. For example, before my maternal grandmother died, she had approached my mother to ask if I should be included in her Will. My grandmother had been of the opinion that compared to the rest of her grandchildren (my cousins), I hadn't been 'forthcoming'. Her concern was that any money bequeathed to me in her Will would be spent unwisely and frittered away.
