Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there everyone, new here!
Bit about me - I am currently a 23 year old self diagnosed high functioning Autistic female who is currently on the very long waiting list for an assessment.
I was wondering if anyone else here feels the same as me and weather its common for this community
I have no desire whatsoever to be in a romantic relationship. All my friends and family are either married or seeing someone and I seem to just not have any desire for it, although strangely I do feel jealous when seeing it, even though for myself I just don't see it ever happening. I guess its more due to my social issues than anything else. I don't find other people interesting, when people talk to me its like its going through one ear and out the other. I have really never plucked up the courage to go on dates without a stiff few drinks first. Same goes for friendships. I have friends yet really I couldn't care less if I lost them or never saw them again. I'm not a mean or distant person, I just really don't need social interaction to live a full life.
I feel perfectly happy living alone, being alone and having a solitary life with my pets! Anyone else feel the same? Or am I bad person who needs to change...
I struggle with making friends, just can't seem to get it right. School was absolute hell, complete loner from start to finish! So with that in mind I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to be in a relationship and make it work.
I'm not interested in relationships, at the moment. Maybe one day but for now I'm ok as I am.
I remember when my marriage ended, obviously I was distraught, suffered burnout and shut down as didn’t even know I was Autistic at the time. Colleagues kept telling me I need to get back out there, that I will find someone else, and that I should get on dating apps….I didn’t want to! I didn’t see the point, or have the urge. People think there’s something wrong with me.
Incidentally, I think my ex is also Autistic, with other undiagnosed health conditions. When I ended it, he simply said OK I understand, and that was it! We’ve chatted a lot and both know that we probably don’t want to be in a relationship again. Neither of us are looking, and if it happens it happens, but there’s no desire there to do so.
I know it's three years later, but i created my account just to say "finally" - someone else who ended a relationship with a brief conversation! I commented to my therapist, the breakup conversation was 16 minutes, one minute for each year of the relationship. It felt strange at the time and for such a long time it felt so casual, to discard something that was a part of my life for so long. When i reflect back on it, it makes me think perhaps i'm actually just not meant for most relationships. I didn't know i was autistic at the time, and my ex is NT.