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Any other Autistic adults who have no desire to be in a relationship ?

NAS78075
over 2 years ago

Hi there everyone, new here!

Bit about me - I am currently a 23 year old self diagnosed high functioning Autistic female who is currently on the very long waiting list for an assessment. 

I was wondering if anyone else here feels the same as me and weather its common for this community

I have no desire whatsoever to be in a romantic relationship. All my friends and family are either married or seeing someone and I seem to just not have any desire for it, although strangely I do feel jealous when seeing it, even though for myself I just don't see it ever happening. I guess its more due to my social issues than anything else. I don't find other people interesting, when people talk to me its like its going through one ear and out the other. I have really never plucked up the courage to go on dates without a stiff few drinks first. Same goes for friendships. I have friends yet really I couldn't care less if I lost them or never saw them again. I'm not a mean or distant person, I just really don't need social interaction to live a full life.

I feel perfectly happy living alone, being alone and having a solitary life with my pets! Anyone else feel the same? Or am I bad person who needs to change...

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    Heya,

    I've been involved in a few relationships now, twice engaged to the same guy and I was with a lovely woman in between times. 

    I was with the guy between 2004-2009 and again between 2016 up until summer of 2021. I was also engaged both times also. The first time we split up it was a fairly bad one as I didn't speak to him again until mid 2016, where we hooked back up again and had a more sensible, loving relationship and got re-engaged on Christmas Day 2016 (very cliche I know lol). When we broke up last year, we have stayed as close friends as he was with me through a difficult time and was one of the first people I spoke too when I began my autism journey. I am glad I have stayed good friends with the guy, but my love for him now is definitely more of friendship than actual relationship. Since the first lockdown we barely saw each other and I was lucky if I saw him every 10 days or so, and it made our relationship feel quite difficult for the both of us. So we sat down and had a chat and decided it was better for us both to just be friends.

    Sadly, the lovely woman I was with in the years I was first ignoring the guy (when we broke up the first time), was sadly hit and killed by a bus on a date. She was really lovely and I loved her a lot too. I think of her often.

    Nowadays though, I am much happier being single and have no intention of looking for another relationship. I would rather just have my lovely little cat for company now Slight smile. 

    My mother, bless her, still thinks that myself and the guy are going to get back together - despite the fact that the both of us have said no to her lol.

    Mweekie xx

Reply
  • over 2 years ago

    Heya,

    I've been involved in a few relationships now, twice engaged to the same guy and I was with a lovely woman in between times. 

    I was with the guy between 2004-2009 and again between 2016 up until summer of 2021. I was also engaged both times also. The first time we split up it was a fairly bad one as I didn't speak to him again until mid 2016, where we hooked back up again and had a more sensible, loving relationship and got re-engaged on Christmas Day 2016 (very cliche I know lol). When we broke up last year, we have stayed as close friends as he was with me through a difficult time and was one of the first people I spoke too when I began my autism journey. I am glad I have stayed good friends with the guy, but my love for him now is definitely more of friendship than actual relationship. Since the first lockdown we barely saw each other and I was lucky if I saw him every 10 days or so, and it made our relationship feel quite difficult for the both of us. So we sat down and had a chat and decided it was better for us both to just be friends.

    Sadly, the lovely woman I was with in the years I was first ignoring the guy (when we broke up the first time), was sadly hit and killed by a bus on a date. She was really lovely and I loved her a lot too. I think of her often.

    Nowadays though, I am much happier being single and have no intention of looking for another relationship. I would rather just have my lovely little cat for company now Slight smile. 

    My mother, bless her, still thinks that myself and the guy are going to get back together - despite the fact that the both of us have said no to her lol.

    Mweekie xx

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