Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there everyone, new here!
Bit about me - I am currently a 23 year old self diagnosed high functioning Autistic female who is currently on the very long waiting list for an assessment.
I was wondering if anyone else here feels the same as me and weather its common for this community
I have no desire whatsoever to be in a romantic relationship. All my friends and family are either married or seeing someone and I seem to just not have any desire for it, although strangely I do feel jealous when seeing it, even though for myself I just don't see it ever happening. I guess its more due to my social issues than anything else. I don't find other people interesting, when people talk to me its like its going through one ear and out the other. I have really never plucked up the courage to go on dates without a stiff few drinks first. Same goes for friendships. I have friends yet really I couldn't care less if I lost them or never saw them again. I'm not a mean or distant person, I just really don't need social interaction to live a full life.
I feel perfectly happy living alone, being alone and having a solitary life with my pets! Anyone else feel the same? Or am I bad person who needs to change...
There is a massive difference between wanting a relationship (platonic / romantic / sexual) and wanting a relationship with the people you see around you. When I was a kid I used to dream what it would be like to have friends and in my head it usually played out with us gathered around a blackboard talking science or going all famous five investigating some local mystery with hi-tech tools. The reality I was mostly unaware of in those early years is that the average kid my age would rather ride bikes or kick a football than use their brain or meddle in the affairs of adults.
In my experience autistic relationships (friendships, dating etc) work better when they're with other 'weirdos.'
since being diagnosed 4 years ago, i noticed the vast majority of my friends are pretty freaking neurodiverse, invcluding even relatives. (i come from a large extended family, and the NT's have their own busy lives to live, and not much time for weirdos like me, or the few other weirdos in the family).
i'm now struggling to maintain relationships with various friends - maybe especially the aspie-like ones, who i find pretty annoying at times. the funny thing - i'm wondering if the annoying parts are also coincidentally things i habitually do.
i'm trying to remember that we're friends, and that that is what matters. that's a new concept for me; previously, friends could be dropped at the slightest irritation.