Received diagnosis last night - what now?

Sadly there isn't enough support, but the ideas here are all good. Also, you could try having a chat to your GP to see what there is in your area. In mine Mind run a course for the newly diagnosed.

Your sentence: "I feel I can't learn to be like them if I don't know how I'm different to them" really touched me.

In the end, you will need to find your own answers to that, but it raises the issue of masking and it put me in mind of something said to me when I was bullied at school. 

Knowing how squeamish to the point of terrified I was, kids used to push bones from the butcher's shop at my face to provoke a melt down. That was fun for them. The head master told my parents that if I were his kid he'd give me a good slap and explicitly told me it was my fault I was bullied because I wouldn't "be like them". I didn't want to be like them. They were vile and cruel and I had nothing in common with them. I learned to hang on to myself no matter what and be a better human being than them! In the end, while they mostly got pregnant at 16, I got a degree.

Many of us have strategies for navigating the social world of NTs. Some of those involve immitating their behaviours; being like them. And yes, that can help minimise the bullying. This 'masking' comes at a cost though. It's hard work and knackering and can burn you out. 

You have a number of quite deep questions to ask yourself right now and find the best solutions to for you; to what extent do you want the world to adapt to you and how can you negotiate that? To what extent and in which contexts and how do you want to adapt to the NT world? 

I'd recommend learning all you can about masking, NT behaviour and reflect on what is natural to you. You will slowly identify the differences and decide what to do about them. Take your time. But whatever strategy you choose, please do remember you are different but every bit as good as anyone else, and in the case of bullies, you are bigger and so much better.

Oh and DaveSperg is absolutely right. Our autism is as likely to dish out strengths as weaknesses, find the bits where it's working for you and enjoy them.

I've found this forum enormously helpful, also so many youtube blogs by young people on the spectrum. Purple Ella is great. If you like reading, I loved Laura James 'Odd girl out' and Sarah Kurchak 'I overcame my autism and all I got was this lousy anxiety disorder'. For a male perspective Chris Packam has an autobiography still on my reading list.

And congratulations on your diagnosis. Congratulations may or may not feel like they are warranted now, but I hope that in time you will find knowing who you are can be life affirming. Good luck.

Sadly there isn't enough support, but the ideas here are all good. Also, you could try having a chat to your GP to see what there is in your area. In mine Mind run a course for the newly diagnosed.

Your sentence: "I feel I can't learn to be like them if I don't know how I'm different to them" really touched me.

In the end, you will need to find your own answers to that, but it raises the issue of masking and it put me in mind of something said to me when I was bullied at school. 

Knowing how squeamish to the point of terrified I was, kids used to push bones from the butcher's shop at my face to provoke a melt down. That was fun for them. The head master told my parents that if I were his kid he'd give me a good slap and explicitly told me it was my fault I was bullied because I wouldn't "be like them". I didn't want to be like them. They were vile and cruel and I had nothing in common with them. I learned to hang on to myself no matter what and be a better human being than them! In the end, while they mostly got pregnant at 16, I got a degree.

Many of us have strategies for navigating the social world of NTs. Some of those involve immitating their behaviours; being like them. And yes, that can help minimise the bullying. This 'masking' comes at a cost though. It's hard work and knackering and can burn you out. 

You have a number of quite deep questions to ask yourself right now and find the best solutions to for you; to what extent do you want the world to adapt to you and how can you negotiate that? To what extent and in which contexts and how do you want to adapt to the NT world? 

I'd recommend learning all you can about masking, NT behaviour and reflect on what is natural to you. You will slowly identify the differences and decide what to do about them. Take your time. But whatever strategy you choose, please do remember you are different but every bit as good as anyone else, and in the case of bullies, you are bigger and so much better.

Oh and DaveSperg is absolutely right. Our autism is as likely to dish out strengths as weaknesses, find the bits where it's working for you and enjoy them.

I've found this forum enormously helpful, also so many youtube blogs by young people on the spectrum. Purple Ella is great. If you like reading, I loved Laura James 'Odd girl out' and Sarah Kurchak 'I overcame my autism and all I got was this lousy anxiety disorder'. For a male perspective Chris Packam has an autobiography still on my reading list.

And congratulations on your diagnosis. Congratulations may or may not feel like they are warranted now, but I hope that in time you will find knowing who you are can be life affirming. Good luck.