Published on 12, July, 2020
Noticed I strugel with socilising more than once a week if I'm in a situation where I'm having to socilise more than once it just physically and mentally shatteres me. Come Christmas we have Christmas Eve where we socilise Christmas day then boxing day then shoot day and there's even a party after that usually. I have to sit certain events out as I personally find the socilising to much and need to retreat to my own space or literally nap it off anyone ellse the same on this?
I call it "peopled out". It's a catch 22 as I feel intensely lonely but can only handle others for so long and I yearn to be alone. Alone but lonely because people are tiring. Even people who I am mostly relaxed with can be tiring as I have to adapt myself to their way of things. It's more about the sensory thing for me as people smell of multiple things - shampoo/perfume/creams/what they've been eating/deodorant/clothes washing stuff. Each person is a wall of scent so it's overwhelming and especially at Christmas when everyone is using more personal grooming products.
I often wondered why I had to have naps after the school run. I realised it was when I was dropping my daughter off in the playground and having to contend with the bollocks "how's the weather" chat which I hate. I now meet my daughter out with the playground because of COVID and I am no longer as tired. I do think it prevents me from having the opportunity of making more friends but it's an awful lot easier on me. I'm grateful for you and everyone else posting as it's making me understand more about myself.
I think it's good that you know what your limits are and that your family are understanding of your need to have a lie down. :-)
I'm the same, I'd love a group of supportive, warm, loving family and friends but I get too tired around people very quickly. When I was young I didn't, I was used to it as my parents were very sociable. But I've been alone at home for so many years now, I can't cope with socialising.
I kind of want the people interaction but it has to be on my terms. I am a socialble person but it's a double bind because i find it tiring too. It depends who I am with. If it's my own friends as opposed to my partner's it is less taxing as I generally meet them individually rather than a group.
Yesterday while with others, it got to the stage where after about 2 hours I had run out of steam and i no longer bothered asking follow up questions or tried to start anything because I actually thought "i can't be bothered trying to think how to respond (facially or verbally) any more". It's made me realise what extra processing goes on behind the scenes.
Yes, I haven't always been an outcast and disliked. I used to be quite popular when I was younger Not sure what happened...
It's nice that they wanted you to go out!