Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I am a 30 year old Male who is awaiting a diagnosis for ASD. For some background, I have struggled with my mental health for more or less my entire life and have never been able to understand why. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was about 18 and had always put it down to just being sensitive. I had a childhood of always wondering why I felt different to others and although I always had friends, it was a small number ( no more than 2 at once) and I was always very sensitive to noise (couldn't go to the school pantomime because it was too overwhelming). Back in the 90s though, ASD wasn't as widely diagnosed and I think I just got overlooked and put down as sensitive. I always struggled in groups and this all got worse once I left school and entered work.
It wasn't until I looked really deeply I realised that my symptoms may be ASD related. My main symptoms that cause me stress are massive sensitivity to loud noises (Dogs barking, children screaming, sirens, fire alarms etc) and social anxiety. For example, I recently attended a wedding that took me 2 weeks to recover from and that I worried about for 2 weeks before it, I get really ill around Christmas due to family events and expectations, yet again I have let my Fiancee down because my anxiety got the better of me and I had to cancel plans with family. She has had to go herself because I can't deal with the anxiety and it basically ruined our Christmas.
Anyway, I took a load of online tests including AQ, RAADS-R & Cat-Q and every single one of them came back saying I'm likely on the spectrum and/or it is worth further investigation. So I bit the bullet and contacted my GP who agreed that there are likely traits and referred me for an assessment.
I just wondered if anybody had any advice at all? I feel trapped, like I can't actually do anything until I get a diagnosis and for some reason my head keeps trying to convince me that I'm making this all up and that there's nothing wrong and I'm just looking for excuses. I worry that I'm thinking this and I'll end up getting laughed out the room. Certainly my GP thinks enough to refer me to the service but I'm still worried. I'm also signed off work until the new year (burnout again) and I'm worried about going back and ending up back at square one, burned out and lost awaiting a diagnosis. Anyway, I've gone on enough. If anybody has any advice or tips it would really be appreciated. Thanks
Hi, my circumstances sound very similar to your; I'm also waiting for my diagnosis. The best thing I can say is to listen to autistic people, either in person or on the Internet (there are many interesting people on YouTube), to see if your experiences are similar.
Recently, I spoke to someone in person who I work with, because I sometimes have the feeling that I was 'making it all up'. However, they said that they felt something very similar, which I was amazed at, as I always thought that I was entirely on my own. I still do, but it was helpful.
The only other thing I'd say is that you don't necessarily have to wait for a diagnosis to get help. Recently, I asked for changes to my working practices without giving a medical reason- I just said they would be helpful. Maybe you could try that? For example, you talked about being sensitive to loud noises; when you negotiate to return to work, maybe you can ask to work in a different room because you think that would be more productive, or some other solution that means you don't have to talk about the wider stuff if you don't want to. The same could apply in your relationship with your partner.
Thanks for your response, DiffidAnt. Sounds like we're in a similar situation.
My work have already been incredibly helpful with my circumstances and I don't see any reason why they wouldn't support further adaptations. I already work from home in this role but find myself burning out daily with the multitude of different tasks, being on MSTeams and being asked constant questions/constant criticism from certain colleagues and being asked to shift focus. I also have to answer the phone sometimes which is both anxiety inducing and distracting. I may ask if they would be willing to allow me to work on a single task and just make that my designated role.
Thanks again for your advice.