Published on 12, July, 2020
So, had a long history of anxiety and depression. Lately become very exhausted....I'm prone to "walking" when I can't handle things.
Thought I'd had a breakdown and finally asked for help from my doctor. I was referred to the mental health crisis team. I was assessed on the phone and asked to come in for a face to face.....
I was just expecting to be offered more tablets (never worked) and diagnosed with a personality disorder or schizophrenia....
Halway through, I was asked if it was OK to do a ASD questionnaire.....never heard of it and when asked what it was.....I was abit taken back. Sure, anyway...I scored a high level and will be referred for I don't know what next or how long that takes. I was assured I wasn't mental at the end anyway but now feel in limbo abit.
I'm 41.....I've gone through life trying to convince myself I was normal, and since they've mentioned asd.....I've realised I'm really not.....but that's OK. It kind of makes sense, my life and how I think.
Anyone else in the same boat?
Hi, I'm currently waiting for a formal diagnosis too (I'm 45) but I'm fairly sure I'm autistic - I've been through the initial access assessment and the lady agreed with me and although I'm relieved to finally have an understanding of why I have always felt like an 'outsider' or 'weird person' I am still suffering from dreadful anxiety.
I can't leave the house alone - I need either my husband or one of my sons with me at all times. I'm also currently off work as I can't control the anxiety.
I'm hoping that the anxiety will improve enough for me to return to work, at least part time, but I honestly don't know how that's going to happen because I think I've told myself so many times, over so many years that I'm useless that I just can't get over this shutdown/autistic burnout. I just feel so blooming useless and am struggling so much with low self esteem. Sorry for the negative post.
The uselessness and low self-esteem have plagued me my whole life and I don't know the cause. Its just always been there but.....since they've mentioned asd, I actually feel better about myself. Knowing that there's a reason for my "weirdness" it kind of makes me feel better if that makes sense?
I'm also off work at the moment, due the anxiety and fatigue....which is probably burnout....still having bad days.....I guess its when you've ran out of adrenaline....your body burns out?
Hopefully your energy levels will improve and try not to be hard on yourself, we are all our worst enemies,always beating ourselves up.....try to see yourself in a new light.....that's what I'm trying to do
Thank you so much for your reply. It's helping so much just knowing that there are other people who feel the same as I do. I actually feel that here is the only place I can be my true self. I think lots of people around me think I'm narcissistic and attention seeking when actually I completely hate attention of any kind. Thank you again.