Struggles with Christmas

I am not fond of crowds because I feel overwhelmed and anxious. I preferred it under lockdown as very few people were out and about. That's not to say I admire lockdowns or anything, far from it. 

As a Christian, you KNOW what Christmas is suppoosed to be about.

Peace, love, and good will to all men.

Celebrating the gift that god gave us of the "new deal" that started with the birth of Jesus Christ, and continues to this day. 

For some reason these messages are anathema to those who rule us, and a concerted effort has been made to make it as unpleasant as possible, using the usual tool, the T.V. set to sell you a different message. You hardly ever hear a proper christmas carol anymore but loads of thsi ersatz stuff that sounds like a carol but has horrible words usually based aorund commericalism.  

Until you rebel properly, and reject the TV conditioning, you are right, Christmas is a horrible time.

IF however, you focus on the original message and DECIDE that you and your loved ones are just going to have a nice time, full of peace, good will, and love to all men, then it gets a lot easier.

YOU decide yourself what constitutes a nice and easy to make christmas dinner, and you both work together to make it happpen. YOU make a bit more of an effort to BE NICE and HELPFUL, and try to be "thoughtful" about others needs. Never easy, but you'd be surprised at what even a selfish Autist like myself can achieve for a couple of days. If you are skint, and can't buy presents, or even cannot face shopping just tell people straight what is going to happen from your end and don't worry. I make a small list of people who I'd like to buy a present for and I try and do that to the best of my abilty, but if I'm uninspired, then I don't. I got fed up with constantly buying more than I received, and seemingly putting more effort into it, I certainly put a lot of pain into it, and since it's RARE anyone really appreciates a Christmas gift, why suffer? 

At the age of fifteen or so, I told a branch of my family straight. "I get the same deodorant set off you guys every year. I don't know what you are trying to say to me, but please stop it...

I do like to get some twinkly lights in the window, to let people know that we are celebrating CHRISTMAS, and not "winterval" or "the festive season" or "the holidays". 

For many people Christianity is all about what you should or should not do, and they see it as a system of oppression. It's actually designed to set us free from the more horrible ways of living your life, to explain to you WHY shagging your sisters husband is a terrifically bad idea, or starting a vendetta with the neighbours over parking etc. If you pay attention and soak up the basic principles of Christianity your life DOES get more pleasant, and you WILL get more resiliant when the bad things happen. It wouldn't have got so popular as it did, if it didn't actually work..

So, whilst we all feel the "pressure", I can testify that it feels a lot less unpleasant and goes better if you focus on the actual REASON behind the celebration and not as the TV set would have you do on the material aspects that they want you too. 

We have what must look like a really *** christmas to many people, just one or two cards, my daughter comes for Christmas eve and half of christmas day, then she goes to the other half of her faimly where they have all the trimings and loads of people, but she has been known to phone me up, and complain about what a horrible time she is having with them...

To put it simply, ithis time of the year simply isn't  "Christmas" if you don't allow Christ to participate in it. 

I don't do Christmas. It lost its meaning decades ago. Anyone who partakes in it is a charlatan.

Fortunately I live alone and can avoid all of it. Enjoy your subjugation to an economy.

I hate the interaction evangelism. I want to be left alone

Indeed.  There are 12 days of Christmas and none of them are before Halloween - I regularly see the council preparing the decorations in October.  It's like Christmas overtakes the whole year!

Billy87 said:

I hate all the endless Christmas songs in shops and the fact that everyone tells me I have to look forward to Christmas and it has to be this big amazing thing

I agree, I hate the pressure to be happy. I don’t like the fact that Christmas is celebrated for a whole month rather than just a day or week. I like being with family.

I can really relate to your post.

i relate to this so so much. i don't like christmas either. the present aspect too, i don't want to be bought stuff anymore lol bc like i never know what i want bc what i want is not something you can hold yanno.

i don't enjoy spending time much w family as i feel really uncomfortable bc i get shy & never know how to explain stuff etc.

& i completely get, when someone tells me to look forward for something i don't at all lol

Hi Billy, no you're not a party pooper and I totally get what you are saying.

In fact, I never thought I would hear another human being on the planet say exactly what you just said because that is exactly how I have felt most Christmases of my adult life.  It's such a relief to hear someone else say it.  

The office Christmas experience is the worst.  I used to work in a job requiring a lot of people skills, I have good compensation strategies so I did well, but was always exhausted by the commute and the effort in 'doing people'.  I'd routinely be hitting burn out about that time of year.

And then yes!  I agree.  If Christmas is spiritually meaningful - great, but why do we have to turn it into this orgy of commercialism? I've felt strongly about that since I found out there was no Santa and was furious with my parents for having told me lies and I couldn't stop thinking about all the children who might not get anything and then think it was because they'd been "naughty" when in fact it was just that their parents couldn't afford expensive presents. I concluded at 10 Santa was a dangerous lie.

We have created this myth in society that it has to be this perfect, magical time, such that it tries to force people into pretend "happiness" under conditions that are actually very stress inducing for everyone.  Many people worry about affording Christmas; will even go into debt to "do it for the kids" or having to cope with relatives they don't like, and then there is all the extra work involved!  It's bonkers and a far cry from the true meaning of Christmas.  Why does the NT world subject itself to this?

AND then for us, on top of that, we have all the sensory issues and the enforced socialising with heavy duty emotional blackmail to participate "because it's Christmas".  You are made to feel like a bad person if you can't paint on a happy face and dance. I loved my colleagues in that office, but their well meant pressure to get me to come to the office party one year got me into such a state I had a melt down - rare for me outside of medical situations.  Mercifully, I felt it coming and managed to lock myself in an empty office for a hour while it passed.  No one ever knew.

At least lockdown spared me that last year.  This year, there's just me and my lad and we'll pop to my mum's Christmas day.  No forced party and no big build up!  I might actually enjoy it this year.

The early Christians fasted for three days around Christmas. 

Normally, there's the Football to look forward to; as well as the King George on Boxing Day. But the Wu Flu is messing that up.

I guess it's the last bastion of Tradition in Western Europe.