Struggles with Christmas

Does anyone else really struggle with Christmas or find it too overwhelming?

I love Christmas day with my family but I get very nervous about it in advance and can't stand the pressure of a day where I feel we all have to be happy. Also, I can't stand the build up. I hate all the endless Christmas songs in shops and the fact that everyone tells me I have to look forward to Christmas and it has to be this big amazing thing. I don't understand why, I mean it happens every year its not a novelty. I have always struggled with anything people tell me I have to enjoy, I automatically feel so much pressure then that I cant enjoy it and I can't cope. Christmas is that times 100, society and everyone telling me I have to enjoy it and be  happy, i cant cope with the pressure.

Also I hate the greed of Christmas, everyone just out for what they can get. I hate the crowds and the people barging past you in shops to get more for themselves. I dont understand the point of giving cards to people you hardly speak to all year or giving presents that people dont really want just for the sake of it.

I really hate the commercialism and the endless adverts telling you you cant enjoy yourself unless you spend loads of money you dont have on stuff you dont need just to make these companies richer 

I really struggle with the sensory overload of all the noise and decorations in shops and the fact that you cant escape it, whereever you go its just Christmas stuff everywhere in your face and it is such an overload for me.

Also, I cant tell anyone any of this or they just make me feel like a grinch. It feels like your not allowed to say you dont enjoy it 

Im a Christian so i love the meaning of Christmas ( I realise that might not be the case for everyone) and I love spending time with my family but thats about it.

I always have a complete breakdown just before Christmas every year, regular as clockwork 

Sorry if I sound like a party pooper but I just wondered if anyone else out there felt like me? Is this an autistic thing or is it just me 

Parents
    • I am struggling a lot at the moment, Christmas seems to start in October, the relentless advertising on television and  Christmas songs on radio is  driving me into a dark place.
    • Brain never lets me sleep, I’m lucky to sleep for 3 hours per night. I watch a lot of tv though the night. 
      I have to take my youngest son for his driving test in the morning and have a doctors appointment on Wednesday which is giving me a lot of anxiety.
    • I know after masking for years that a meltdown is coming.
    • I was in my local Waitrose yesterday, a young lady started to shout very loudly and accused her partner of trying to trip her. She was inconsolable, her partner walked with her and helped her to go outside to fully vent.
    • people were sniggering and thought it was funny.
    • I could see what she was going through and eventually  got back  in my car and cried.
    • I  new  the amount of overload  she was having and I suppose could see a younger me.
    • Why can’t my autistic brain just let me sleep some nights?
    • Sorry to go on, I’ve had to use alcohol to mask and kill the inner me as we had to go to a social occasion.
Reply
    • I am struggling a lot at the moment, Christmas seems to start in October, the relentless advertising on television and  Christmas songs on radio is  driving me into a dark place.
    • Brain never lets me sleep, I’m lucky to sleep for 3 hours per night. I watch a lot of tv though the night. 
      I have to take my youngest son for his driving test in the morning and have a doctors appointment on Wednesday which is giving me a lot of anxiety.
    • I know after masking for years that a meltdown is coming.
    • I was in my local Waitrose yesterday, a young lady started to shout very loudly and accused her partner of trying to trip her. She was inconsolable, her partner walked with her and helped her to go outside to fully vent.
    • people were sniggering and thought it was funny.
    • I could see what she was going through and eventually  got back  in my car and cried.
    • I  new  the amount of overload  she was having and I suppose could see a younger me.
    • Why can’t my autistic brain just let me sleep some nights?
    • Sorry to go on, I’ve had to use alcohol to mask and kill the inner me as we had to go to a social occasion.
Children
  • When they eventually legalise it (or if you are feeling rebellious) cannabis could well sort that sleep issue out!

  • I can understand that Roy. I feel the same about a lot of this stuff. My brain doesn't let me sleep, its quite bad at the moment.

    Is there anyting that gives you joy that you can distract yourself with? I listen to music and go out in nature to help me

  • You're likely to encounter a lot of Christmas promotion on TV now. I don't watch TV and I feel like Christmas is a distant thing. It struck me that just eliminating consuming TV for a few decades has made Christmas seem far far away.

  • My brain works like yours always goes to worst case saniorios when in reality we just make it worse than it actually is. And yeah I know it's impossible to switch that side off too when it egfs like that too. Or you can't just think of something different but you gots remeber it's your autism not you. My therapist exsplained it to me and now when I do it I can now fight back against that side of my brain just takes control you'll get there eventually though and it never fully stops bit it's possible to manage it. Gives me a headache when that happens.