Diplomacy skills

My son has extremely complex needs (including autism), and I have type 1 autism too. I have to deal with our local council on a regular basis to keep up with all of the paperwork and sorting out their problems. I generally run my email drafts by my husband before sending them. He’s very good at being diplomatic, and sadly it’s a skill I can’t seem to grasp. 

The latest problem with the council is over a technical issue they’re having which resulted in my child not being able to attend school. After telling them in a lot more words that technical issues are no excuse for not being able to accommodate staff absence, I ended the email like this (hubby was at work).

I apologise for my forthright tone, but I have already had four years of the council shirking their legal responsibilities towards my son at every given opportunity. Corporate excuses tend to fall on deaf ears now. And yes, I have fully accepted that I will be completely insane by the time my children leave education.”

Whilst I understand that this isn’t exactly diplomatic, I also couldn’t see any other way of getting my point across. My husband had suggested a few ideas before he went to work, but I thought they all skirted around the problem rather than dealing with it. I feel like I’m missing something here. Does anyone have a few ground rules for me for being more diplomatic when dealing with extremely frustrating situations?

Parents
  • I struggle with this a lot too. I really understand. I think its difficult for us to be tactful as we are very honest and say how we feel and NT people arn't used to that. I think its good that we are honest though

    I always re read something before I send it and imagine how it will sound out loud. Sometimes that helps. Also write how you feel and what you want to say and then think of softer words to replace some of the blunt words with and edit it before sending it

  • hopefully that helps

  • That really made me laugh Billy, “softer words to replace some of the blunt words”. I’ve been called blunt so many times in my life! Perhaps i ought to have another look at my usual vocabulary. Thanks

  • Thats ok loll glad it helped. ive been called blunt too so dont worry. I think its a common autistic thing. We just say what we think. Its not a bad trait though, at least we're honest!

Reply
  • Thats ok loll glad it helped. ive been called blunt too so dont worry. I think its a common autistic thing. We just say what we think. Its not a bad trait though, at least we're honest!

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