Relationships - is this possible?!

You are not alone. Until I was 27 I had had an awful time with the opposite sex. I would either push them away or get way too keen way to quickly and be too intense and drive them away. Just like you I tried to build relationships with people far away as it was less overwhelming than people nearby. I would even type in postcodes at the other end of the country on dating websites rather than meet a woman in my own town.

Like you I could only talk to them when I was drunk and this led to me letting myself down a lot in social situations. 
Like you I could also never let go and would pine for people Id only been on one or two dates with. I teach special needs kids and always wanted to have kids of my own but had almost given up.

Then I met my wife and have now been married 5 years and have a little boy. 

I just want to tell you it does get bettter. If you are honest with yourself and stay true to who you are and what you want from life then you will find it in the end.

One thing, try not to go for so - called "normal people" I did that and had my heart broken several times. My wife went to a special needs school and is almost as confused by life as I am. Look for someone who will understand you and accept you just as you are.

If you ever need a friend to talk to about it drop me a message

Hello,

I was diagnosed at the age of 24 with level 2 ASD. I'm just the same. I'm now a 26 year old man and have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss.

I also find it easier to communicate through text/email. I tend to run out of things to say or start sounding "Wallyish".

I sometimes wonder if there has been missed opportunities in my life for a relationship. I was either too focused on my studies, or I was too blind to see it.

I too am getting to the age where I want to settle down with someone. I just want a loving relationship with someone who wants me to be there. I keep seeing people that I went to school and college with that appear to be settled down. 

Don't worry, you are certainly not alone. You can't force meeting someone. However, eventually, you will meet someone who is worthy of you, and will appreciate you for who you are.

I feel this, I've only ever had 1 friend, they happened to be autistic so I think that made things easier. But I hate physical touch and socialising but at the same time do feel like I'd want a relationship in the future. I'm an adult too and can't remember the last conversation I had with a guy (I'm talking years) and I'm also scared that I'll be alone forever (including friend-wise) even if I don't want to.

Its really scary to think about and makes me upset sometimes. Relationships are just so complex sometimes (all the time)

Unconditional love is only really found in the parent child bond. 

Is relationship based on unconditional love possible To answer that, we removed ourselves from the influence of our culture  and looking deeply within ourselves and each other. Was there another "road map" for the territory of relationships that would get us to the realm of love by a more direct route.

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I have an intense dislike of physical contact with people I do not know well. I have had so many unpleasant journeys on public transport where I am either being touched by someone, or else am holding myself rigid and contorting to avoid touch. On the other hand, I am a very hugging, tactile person with loved ones. I get the feeling that you have similar reactions and that your problem is an expectation of going from interacting with a stranger to physical contact in a fairly short time, and this freaks you out, as it would me. I knew my future wife for 3 years as a friend before any romance and we 'dated' (I really hate the word) for about 4 months before a physical relationship started. I do not think that online relationships are a useful substitute for physical presence in building up the levels of trust needed for emotional and physical contact to happen. 

I just remembered this Vlog by Paul from Australia who does a YouTube Channel "Aspergers from the Inside". It is a vlog about what neurotypicals need to think about when dating autistics, but it also gives you an insight into what you may need from the other person. Hope it helps:  www.youtube.com/watch

Relationships can happen, but they are hard work, especially for the autistic. I have been married to an NT for almost 20 years, and though it has been far from easy, we are still together and still love each other.

I think one thing that could help is to realise why you are so nervous when meeting someone for the first time. I know that for me it was the result of years and years of rejection, abuse and ridicule. Not surprising that we are so nervous when the outcome has persistently been so bad. I was also helped by my own discovery that meeting people is not "make or break". I can meet someone new without any expectations, without the feeling that "this is my last chance". Finally, finding out what environment and conditions of interaction make you less anxious and seeking those out. 

If you know these, or have a better idea about them, you can seek out those situations and engage in a less stressful way. Mostly, though, being yourself, knowing that you can just walk away from someone you are not keen on, but also not feeling as though every meeting is your last chance. More than anything, though, hang in there! It can and will happen.

Hi U22.

This is a lovely message to read and you come across as a very intelligent and compassionate young lady. I'm also sure that most people on the planet have (or have had) the same dream of finding a romantic partner (and perhaps even starting a family) as you did when you were a little girl.  As Cinderella sings in the Disney film: A dream is a wish your heart makes. So, my message to you is to have faith in your dreams, and no matter how your heart is grieving, keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true.