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Relationships - is this possible?!

Uklou222

Hi all, I have never written one of these before but I’m feeling pretty down so thought I would give it a go…

I have recently been diagnosed with autism at the age of 26 and realised pretty early on that I just wasn’t like everyone else, so as you can imagine after being diagnosed it really all clicked into place for me. 

The one thing I have really struggled with is talking to the opposite sex/getting close to them emotionally and physically. As soon as a man starts to speak to me I get instant anxiety and my initial reaction is to remove myself from the situation. I have tried sooooo many things to help get over this but nothing has worked. I’ve even tried getting drunk to see if would help me to relax but even that didn’t work! This has led to me feeling pretty hopeless and I’m honestly worried that I’m going to end up alone. I am fine speaking to people online/through texts but as soon as they start asking to meet up I find excuses not to and then eventually cut contact. This has led me to being 26 and I have never been physically close to anyone and I’m feeling constantly alone/lonely. I want to be close to someone, I just physically can’t do it!?

Gaming has always been an outlet for me and in doing that I met someone who lived in America. We were talking for well over a year and got very close and when it all ended badly it broke me. We ‘broke up’ over a year ago now and I still can’t let it go.. I’m not sure if that is an autistic thing or not, but I have a really hard time letting things go? Ive spoken to my mum about it and she thinks I tend to lean towards people who live far away or who are in relationships because I subconsciously know that it won’t go any further, if that makes sense? 

Since being a little girl my dream has always been to have children and the older I’m getting the more worried I am that I’m not going to be able to do this. I’m not really sure what I am asking but maybe would just like to know that I’m not alone? 

Parents

  • Hello,

    I was diagnosed at the age of 24 with level 2 ASD. I'm just the same. I'm now a 26 year old man and have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss.

    I also find it easier to communicate through text/email. I tend to run out of things to say or start sounding "Wallyish".

    I sometimes wonder if there has been missed opportunities in my life for a relationship. I was either too focused on my studies, or I was too blind to see it.

    I too am getting to the age where I want to settle down with someone. I just want a loving relationship with someone who wants me to be there. I keep seeing people that I went to school and college with that appear to be settled down. 

    Don't worry, you are certainly not alone. You can't force meeting someone. However, eventually, you will meet someone who is worthy of you, and will appreciate you for who you are.

Reply

  • Hello,

    I was diagnosed at the age of 24 with level 2 ASD. I'm just the same. I'm now a 26 year old man and have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss.

    I also find it easier to communicate through text/email. I tend to run out of things to say or start sounding "Wallyish".

    I sometimes wonder if there has been missed opportunities in my life for a relationship. I was either too focused on my studies, or I was too blind to see it.

    I too am getting to the age where I want to settle down with someone. I just want a loving relationship with someone who wants me to be there. I keep seeing people that I went to school and college with that appear to be settled down. 

    Don't worry, you are certainly not alone. You can't force meeting someone. However, eventually, you will meet someone who is worthy of you, and will appreciate you for who you are.

Children
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