Do you ever think it's odd that diagnosis is essentially just us being classified, usually by neurotypical people?

I have never had any investment in the ND vs NT divide.

My whole life, I wasn't autistic, until I was diagnosed. Up until that point, I thought a certain way, and I met very few people who thought about things the way I did. It was me vs everybody else. ND vs NT didn't exist for me until I exposed myself to the wonderful world of autism politics.

I wanted to understand how I function so that I can interact with people better and be easier on myself, not so I can get angry about our differences. I've spent a lifetime doing that.

Labels and names etc, by definition, categorise things. If we want a label, we become categorised. But we need categorisation so it is easier to research and understand things. Otherwise we have chaos.

The difference is in the intention. If we choose to seek diagnosis, does it really matter who does it if the result is accurate? Although the assessment will be largely subjective anyway.

Is it necessary for a person to be autistic to be able to see the signs of autism? I don't think so.

Of course, they won't understand on an experiential level, but that doesn't mean they can't help us.

Does a world class athletics coach need to be a world class athlete themselves? Of course not. They need to be able to assess the data in front of them and use that to bring out the skills of the athlete.

The point of diagnosis is understanding, then we can move forward. I think too many people are dwelling on the past, too much guilt, too many grudges. The past can't be changed, people often can't be changed.

But if we act like 'them', we become like 'them'.

This is obvious to me but it seems like a common theme in many ND forums.

I can relate to some of this but to me it still matters.  I've always felt as though I was in a minority and to have this minority diagnosed with a "disorder" because it's not of the predominant neurotype feels wrong to me.

And really i'd much rather have had the information to self identify at a much earlier stage rather than feeling dependent upon people with very little understanding.  The power imbalance did affect me.  And I didn't feel helped by them either.  

That said, I'm not particularly fond of the term "neurotypical" either because, after all, who amongst us is typical?

Overall though no, I don't want to create a divide but it felt to me as though I was somehow apart from others from the start.  I didn't realise that I was autistic, but, from the playground onwards, others had names for my difference.  Some of them weren't very pleasant ones either.  This continued into the workplace too.  I don't think I'm angry about being different, but I am angry about being misjudged and for this kind of misjudgement to feed into the diagnostic process.  

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, I suppose it really depends on our circumstances and how we deal with them.

I too felt separate and different from a very early age, and I only ever had one or two friends at a time. I never really understood people, and I don't think they understood me. But, I was never really concerned about the whims of other people. I was impulsive and I chose to follow my own path, after realising that following others only led to disaster.

So, I've only rarely needed to deal with regular mainstream employment and the crap that goes with it. I'm self-employed for that very reason, nobody telling me what I'm supposed to be or how I'm supposed to act. So, in a way, I've managed to avoid much of that trauma. That doesn't mean I haven't spent much of my life viewing most people with disdain.

I sought diagnosis myself, because I grew tired of being tired and angry, and I wanted to move forward with my life. At the time, I was backing myself into a corner and I couldn't see a way out.

In spite of a very long 3 year wait, I think I was lucky when it came to assessment.

The assessor is not autistic but spouse and child are, so there was very good insight. It was during the lockdowns so via multiple video calls. Considering I hate being filmed, photographed, talking on the phone etc, I was made to feel very comfortable. When it started, I was told that I am the expert and I really took much of the lead. They pretty much just steered the conversation in the right directions, but as I talked so much, we always overran.

I did enter the assessment process with a lot of research, notes, surveys, anecdotes, and the only thing missing were childhood reports but I had so much stuff they ultimately didn't need to go into my childhood too much, although I insisted.

I'd never had any prior dealings with the mental health or neurodevelopmental world, due to thinking that I was absolutely fine  and everyone else was weird, and maybe working on the fringes of society so I never got noticed.

So my view wasn't tainted by previous positive or negative experiences.

So yes, I have a different view due to circumstances. My life was my own before, diagnosis was my own decision for my own purposes, and my life is still my own. But I've never really cared what other people think of me anyway.

Labels and names can be problematic because they inevitably create tribes. 

But self diagnosis is also fine, and formal diagnosis shouldn't be necessary, but I do think formal diagnosis can be very useful, as long as the diagnostic process doesn't cause trauma. If it does, then what's the point?

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, I suppose it really depends on our circumstances and how we deal with them.

I too felt separate and different from a very early age, and I only ever had one or two friends at a time. I never really understood people, and I don't think they understood me. But, I was never really concerned about the whims of other people. I was impulsive and I chose to follow my own path, after realising that following others only led to disaster.

So, I've only rarely needed to deal with regular mainstream employment and the crap that goes with it. I'm self-employed for that very reason, nobody telling me what I'm supposed to be or how I'm supposed to act. So, in a way, I've managed to avoid much of that trauma. That doesn't mean I haven't spent much of my life viewing most people with disdain.

I sought diagnosis myself, because I grew tired of being tired and angry, and I wanted to move forward with my life. At the time, I was backing myself into a corner and I couldn't see a way out.

In spite of a very long 3 year wait, I think I was lucky when it came to assessment.

The assessor is not autistic but spouse and child are, so there was very good insight. It was during the lockdowns so via multiple video calls. Considering I hate being filmed, photographed, talking on the phone etc, I was made to feel very comfortable. When it started, I was told that I am the expert and I really took much of the lead. They pretty much just steered the conversation in the right directions, but as I talked so much, we always overran.

I did enter the assessment process with a lot of research, notes, surveys, anecdotes, and the only thing missing were childhood reports but I had so much stuff they ultimately didn't need to go into my childhood too much, although I insisted.

I'd never had any prior dealings with the mental health or neurodevelopmental world, due to thinking that I was absolutely fine  and everyone else was weird, and maybe working on the fringes of society so I never got noticed.

So my view wasn't tainted by previous positive or negative experiences.

So yes, I have a different view due to circumstances. My life was my own before, diagnosis was my own decision for my own purposes, and my life is still my own. But I've never really cared what other people think of me anyway.

Labels and names can be problematic because they inevitably create tribes. 

But self diagnosis is also fine, and formal diagnosis shouldn't be necessary, but I do think formal diagnosis can be very useful, as long as the diagnostic process doesn't cause trauma. If it does, then what's the point?