Masking- your thoughts appreciated

I love your honesty about yourself. You aren't quite as mean spirted as you think, otherwise you'd not be able to make the admission.

Since I did the first 59 years of life being told by authorities believing I was a normie, I'm not entriely sure where that "mask" ends, and the real me begins. In addition, when I tried cannabis as a kid it had the side effect of people stopped hitting me, which I later realised  also meant I did less stupid sh*t, so apart from the odd time out to check the hypothesis (which rapidly became a theory!) and see if being unstoned was as horrific as I remembered, (it is!) I've kept up the habit to the best of my ability ever since.. And it sure does make me more tolerant, and apparently likeable!

I have always wanted to be the best that I can possibly be. Which is very difficult when peopel are constantly picking a fight with you, or you are doing stupid stuff (my daughhters trick cyclist said it was very possible she got her ADD from me) and getting into trouble.

I've a lot of qualms about my lifestyle, developed as it was whilst I was ignorant of my true condition, but I'm not in the legal or medical systems, I am able to sustain relationships (when I want to leave or throw my *** out of the window I just smoke a stronger reefer and I can't be bothered to make the effort. If people are being horrible to me, yes, you've guessed it, nipping out of the room for a swift bong will bolt on "olympian calm and reasonableness". There's a lot of talk about the issues that come with cannabis, (and to be honest, there's a learning curve even if it does suiit you, and some people really should not as it can cause them a horrible time, (it's rare, but I've seen it and experienced challengiing feelings and ideas) but for me it's a useful life tool, and I really ought to get off my backside and do a bit of campaigning for the legal right to use the stuff for both medical and recreation reasons. 

Maybe organise a PROPER display in memorial park next April 20. Yeah in additoin to being Der Fuehrers birthday, 420 is the vapouriisng pont of THC I'm told (probably in farenheit) and it's "world stoner parade" day! (no-one ever said it was good for ones decision making process. (That's one reason why I give myself "timeouts" to review my decisions and objectives from a "straight" perspective I even did six months as an experiment once! - never again!) 420 day is never a good advert because the only people who will challenge the law openly in such a manner are generally the ones least likely to be able to actually organise anything. The few decent land generally law abiding people I know who use the stuff, are too scared to show themselves, as I have been for many decades. I could do it properly for once. Hand out flyers & put on a bit of a show, that sort of thing..

I wear a plant based mask I guess. (except when doing work or pleasure where the negative effects, outweigh the positives. E.G. flying or customer facing roles, where clearly cannabis use does not work at all well for me. I do have a very effective customer service role mask, where I'm a take charge kinda guy, without making it obvious. I used to judge my sucess on how long it used to take them to offer me a cup of tea after I had made the first visit. 

There is a lot of mainstream misinformation (as well as some absolutely true stuff) about illegal drug use and the users. MOST of the users I have known over the years have had quiet & stable lives, making a positive contribution to society and the workplace, whilst keeping their heads DOWN. Many hate the "double life" so much they eventually quit. I ahev a friend who employed an active heroin addict for about 15 years, he'd balanced his life, his work and the cost of his habit sucessfully, turned up every day to do his days work, and was a valued employee. I'm not so sure he is the rule of course, and I've avoided heroin and it's users for obvious reasons. I once smoked opium* when I threw my back out and conventional anti inflamatories and pain killers were not touching it, and although it obliterated my pain, I really could not be bothered to get out of my bed (which was my main aim in life prior to smoking the opium)  * A guy I knew made the stuff and when he offered me a pea sized lump, I took it and kept it for a rainy day. It had a rubbery aspect and was kept in a drawer for some years before I felt the need to try it out. HOw my guy's man managed to keep getting up to do his job will always be a mystery to me. I can see how people could use it to erase the pain of living, but I'd rather actually be able to get up and DO some living, even if it's in pain. (Mostly, some strains of cannabis can make one enjoy being very lazy, I must admit..)

For balance, and legal reasons, I must point out that my description of illegal drugs and their effects are selective and whilst I would seek to offer my own experience for consideration on it's merits, this should not be construed as a recommendation to break the law. Breaking the LAW is MUCH more dangerous and it's effects more unpredicatable (but always long lasting and negative) than the effect of cannabis

I love your honesty about yourself. You aren't quite as mean spirted as you think, otherwise you'd not be able to make the admission.

Since I did the first 59 years of life being told by authorities believing I was a normie, I'm not entriely sure where that "mask" ends, and the real me begins. In addition, when I tried cannabis as a kid it had the side effect of people stopped hitting me, which I later realised  also meant I did less stupid sh*t, so apart from the odd time out to check the hypothesis (which rapidly became a theory!) and see if being unstoned was as horrific as I remembered, (it is!) I've kept up the habit to the best of my ability ever since.. And it sure does make me more tolerant, and apparently likeable!

I have always wanted to be the best that I can possibly be. Which is very difficult when peopel are constantly picking a fight with you, or you are doing stupid stuff (my daughhters trick cyclist said it was very possible she got her ADD from me) and getting into trouble.

I've a lot of qualms about my lifestyle, developed as it was whilst I was ignorant of my true condition, but I'm not in the legal or medical systems, I am able to sustain relationships (when I want to leave or throw my *** out of the window I just smoke a stronger reefer and I can't be bothered to make the effort. If people are being horrible to me, yes, you've guessed it, nipping out of the room for a swift bong will bolt on "olympian calm and reasonableness". There's a lot of talk about the issues that come with cannabis, (and to be honest, there's a learning curve even if it does suiit you, and some people really should not as it can cause them a horrible time, (it's rare, but I've seen it and experienced challengiing feelings and ideas) but for me it's a useful life tool, and I really ought to get off my backside and do a bit of campaigning for the legal right to use the stuff for both medical and recreation reasons. 

Maybe organise a PROPER display in memorial park next April 20. Yeah in additoin to being Der Fuehrers birthday, 420 is the vapouriisng pont of THC I'm told (probably in farenheit) and it's "world stoner parade" day! (no-one ever said it was good for ones decision making process. (That's one reason why I give myself "timeouts" to review my decisions and objectives from a "straight" perspective I even did six months as an experiment once! - never again!) 420 day is never a good advert because the only people who will challenge the law openly in such a manner are generally the ones least likely to be able to actually organise anything. The few decent land generally law abiding people I know who use the stuff, are too scared to show themselves, as I have been for many decades. I could do it properly for once. Hand out flyers & put on a bit of a show, that sort of thing..

I wear a plant based mask I guess. (except when doing work or pleasure where the negative effects, outweigh the positives. E.G. flying or customer facing roles, where clearly cannabis use does not work at all well for me. I do have a very effective customer service role mask, where I'm a take charge kinda guy, without making it obvious. I used to judge my sucess on how long it used to take them to offer me a cup of tea after I had made the first visit. 

There is a lot of mainstream misinformation (as well as some absolutely true stuff) about illegal drug use and the users. MOST of the users I have known over the years have had quiet & stable lives, making a positive contribution to society and the workplace, whilst keeping their heads DOWN. Many hate the "double life" so much they eventually quit. I ahev a friend who employed an active heroin addict for about 15 years, he'd balanced his life, his work and the cost of his habit sucessfully, turned up every day to do his days work, and was a valued employee. I'm not so sure he is the rule of course, and I've avoided heroin and it's users for obvious reasons. I once smoked opium* when I threw my back out and conventional anti inflamatories and pain killers were not touching it, and although it obliterated my pain, I really could not be bothered to get out of my bed (which was my main aim in life prior to smoking the opium)  * A guy I knew made the stuff and when he offered me a pea sized lump, I took it and kept it for a rainy day. It had a rubbery aspect and was kept in a drawer for some years before I felt the need to try it out. HOw my guy's man managed to keep getting up to do his job will always be a mystery to me. I can see how people could use it to erase the pain of living, but I'd rather actually be able to get up and DO some living, even if it's in pain. (Mostly, some strains of cannabis can make one enjoy being very lazy, I must admit..)

For balance, and legal reasons, I must point out that my description of illegal drugs and their effects are selective and whilst I would seek to offer my own experience for consideration on it's merits, this should not be construed as a recommendation to break the law. Breaking the LAW is MUCH more dangerous and it's effects more unpredicatable (but always long lasting and negative) than the effect of cannabis

That's interesting about the cannabis, I tried smoking it a little bit in my youth and found it just made me dopey. Didn't like the feeling. I didn't know I had AS then though.

Don't want to smoke again. What's the safest way,? Vape?

I also tried magic mushrooms once when I was a kid. Had a very bad trip.

I'm not sure if the mushroom incident maybe even changed me slightly, permanently in some way