Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
As a recently diagnosed older person, I am now starting to realize, after reading a lot of other People's stuff on this site, that I have been masking more or less my whole life.
Some say you should drop the mask now that you know you have as, and show your real self.
I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea- for me anyway.
The masking I've developed over the last 50 years or so seems to get me bye, and is more or less socially acceptable (when I can keep it up, which is most of the time)
But when I really look at the 'real' me, I don't think it would be a good idea to show myself.
The real me doesn't seem to like others (in the main), and can be mean spirited, shy and recluse and judgemental.
Is this real me what autism is?
If so should I carry on with the masking, and try to subdue the real me?
Does anyone else think this
Don't be too hard on yourself Jazzydave! I'm awaiting diagnostic assessment (I'm in my early 50s) and beginning to realise similar things. I feel I've become more judgemental, mean & angry in recent years and am very disappointed in myself, thinking, this isn't me surely??! But I'm thinking a lot of it is due to being ignored, rejected, talked over, bullied or just not taken seriously for decades - no matter how hard I've tried to mask/camouflage/adapt/fit in. It takes its toll. So it doesn't totally answer your question about whether to drop the mask - but I would say take it slowly and get to know yourself again, don't assume that all of the negative traits are the "real you"! And nothing wrong with being shy!
(I promise to think up a user name and introduce myself properly soon, not good at these things!)