Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
As a recently diagnosed older person, I am now starting to realize, after reading a lot of other People's stuff on this site, that I have been masking more or less my whole life.
Some say you should drop the mask now that you know you have as, and show your real self.
I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea- for me anyway.
The masking I've developed over the last 50 years or so seems to get me bye, and is more or less socially acceptable (when I can keep it up, which is most of the time)
But when I really look at the 'real' me, I don't think it would be a good idea to show myself.
The real me doesn't seem to like others (in the main), and can be mean spirited, shy and recluse and judgemental.
Is this real me what autism is?
If so should I carry on with the masking, and try to subdue the real me?
Does anyone else think this
I can relate to what a lot of the previous posts have said. For me, it's a case of "choose your battles" and build in recovery time.
For me, masking is part of who I am and I don't know how I would "unmask" as it's so engrained I don't even know I do it half the time. I mask during the day because I am at work but I want to continue with my job as I enjoy it. (My job choice could also be seen as a type of masking). I mask to a certain extent with friends, but I want to keep seeing them.
In terms of social situations with groups of people - now I'm more aware of who I am, I don't feel as much like I have to mask (ie carrying on regardless keeping up with the conversation and expending so much energy - I'm being a bit kinder to myself and understand I can take a break!) but there is still an element of masking in order to get by.
Things which I am starting to unmask with are my emotions (or managing them / trying to hide things less) because I have seen this has been detrimental to my mental health in the past. I'm also starting to creep out of my shell and say things which are on my mind more now (I'm usually quite controntation-averse but this might just be an age thing I don't know!). I'm less willing to tolerate things which give me sensory difficulties as I know I don't have to put up with them.