Autism and Right To Choose.

1985 FZ750-1fn ex-track bike...

I really like that motorcycle vs. car analogy!

Well, to be honest, I've tried most of the alternatives during the 59 years I lived undiagnosed.

I'm currently at a fairly good and seemingly reasonably secure point in my life, after years of turbulence, I've ticked a lot of the boxes that my fellow Autists are struggling with, partly because there was no one telling me I was Autistic and that these things would always be a struggle or impossible for me. 

It's a simple statistics thing "normality" is defined mostly by "average performance" (with an increasing amount of political indoctination/coerciion which I find of concern, but no-one else does). I think us people at the edge of the bell curve should realise that WE are the "exceptions" whether good or bad to "social normailty", and we can either jam up the gears or learn how the machinery works and act as a lubricant, BUT  that takes skill, application, and a will to be "of service".

As for whether it is a "nice way to live" I see it much as like being a motorcyclist in a world full of car drivers. I can get there much faster than they can, usually, and I can always find somewhere to park the bike and go do my stuff quickly and without messing about.

The Autism seems to give me similar mental abilities, but just like with the motorcycling you HAVE to do it right, or you will keep falling off and hurting yourself. JUST as you learn where you can and cannot put the bike on the road without colliding with the cars, or winding them up so much they try to kill you (It happens..) you an learn when and when it is good to give way to the normies point of view or emotional state and when it is time to hit them hard with whatever comes to hand.

(Because nothing else works, it's either the  psychology and love, or ultra violence with the normies. Heck they are all too absorbed working out how to deal with serious mainstream issues like what pronouns to use to mis-describe each other,to have to try and adjust to my Autism. I see it as a simple kindness to try and help them deal with me as easily as possible.)  

Hi I Sperg, that does not sound like a nice way to live, to concentrate on not being a pain in others' backsides and always thinking about the adjustments they need to make. I find neurotypical people annoying and I have to make adjustments to deal with them but I wouldn't want them going through life focusing on how much I have to adjust for them and how much they can potentially annoy me.

I would rather everyone focus on being the best version of who they are in themselves, whether they are autistic, otherwise neurodivergent or neurotypical. We all have to make adjustments for one another in life but it would make me feel bad to be thinking about this all the time especially in a one-sided way.

Cheers,
Caleb

That's interesting.

I know what you mean about the burst through thing.

I've survived, and done ok, some people would say, but it has been at a high cost in various ways. And although Ive sometimes been in a position to really burst through, something has always held me back. Something that others see, and I somehow don't.

If only I'd known my limitations earlier, I wouldn't have put myself through a lot of unessesary Stress.

I'm pleased I know now because if I see something similar in my kids I can guide them down an easier path

My apologies Desmond for misinterpreting your post. 

Kind regards,

Alex

No. Just my experience.

Sorry for the late reply. Jazzydave. Diagnosis has made my life easier to live, but I also have to accept I have my limitations, whereas previously I always had the hope that I could "burst through".

I disclose it to all and sundry. Sometimes apologetically, some times militantly! They treat me about the same, but seem to respect that I'm carrying a load that they are not.   

I on the other hand, now no longer feel like a "Failure" in life, any more than a one legged man who loses an *** kicking contest should... 

I find that the things that really annoy people and which are genuinely facets of the Autism are less annoying if people know why I am like that. 

I am however MUCH less inclined to go to a wedding or do other "correct social behaviour" that causes me discomfort. I'm also less inclined to take any "guff" generally. In fact it's become my "line in the sand".. 

Thank you very much. I shall give them a call tomorrow :) 

Hi Alex, it’s an old link. ASD assessments are something they have added in the last year. If you give them a call they should be able to help.

Thank you very much for the Link. Having checked I see that there service is currently unavailable regarding autism diagnosis. 

But thank you very much for providing the link :) 

Hi I sperg, I'm a similar age to you (56) and have just been diagnosed.

I'd be interested to know, has being diagnosed made your life any easier in any ways?

And have you disclosed to all around you?

Has it affected the way they treat you for the better or worse?

Regards

Dave

This is what I used.

psychiatry-uk.com/.../

Hello Desmond,

I'm not sure what you are inferring here. Are you insinuating that I am looking for a hand out? 

Kind regards,

Alex

Hello and thank you for your reply. 

I have already experience ridicule in the workplace due to my personality and do struggle to maintain work in a social environment. I'm trying to not be a pain in the backside to those around me by trying to find some support. As you stated this is pretty much non-existent. 

I do value your input and will certainly take your advice onboard. 

Reminds me of the closest woman I had to a Girlfriend. She was the Primary Carer for her autistic brother, and has him mollycoddled. I had no one looking after me, with the same condition as him, but had to look after myself. Just now, I've stuck another load of laundry on and decluttered my attic these past few weeks.

"He who is carried has no idea how far the village is." (Nigerian Proverb)

Diagnosis doesn't seem to open ANY DOORS at all. (I hope to be corrected) 

The only advantage to knowing seems to be a reduction in personal confusion, and reduced expectations all round.

Concentrate on not being a pain in the backside to those who are close to you, and remembering that they have to make adjustments every day in order to not get annoyed with you. 

Some NT's will "shield you" some will "enable" you & most will persecute you or obstruct your progress in some way because they don't like the cut of your jib.