Published on 12, July, 2020
So, firstly, I think a lot of people are undergoing significant changes in their lives and not least their work; these are the times we live in. Mine, ironically, have nothing to do the pandemic, but that is neither here nor there. I wanted to find out who was experiencing significant change in this area and how they were faring? I have a secondary reason for posting that will come up at the end of the post. Thus, I begin:
For 20 years or so I worked the same job - not with the same employer and the specifics of the actual role or work changed, but essentially I just solved technical or computer software-related problems, as only a neuro-divergent could. This isn't really something I chose - I fell into it, and just kind of stayed - changing always seemed overly dangerous. I helped a lot of people shift their thinking and outlook on the process of solving things, as well as understanding problems. What to me seemed the most obvious approach was something my colleagues had to learn or be taught.
That was all quite good, but eventually I ended up in Consulting and several years into my career, and I lacked the social acumen to adapt to promotion criteria, so I was being left behind and expectations placed on me didn't meld well with my interests or inclinations. I made significant adjustments on a social level and learned a lot about how people do things and why, but I always came up short in review.
Eventually I ended up on a couple of bad projects with people behaving in a way I couldn't cope with, and people responsibilities I didn't want, just as some stuff happened in my personal life with family. As a result, I think I had an emotional meltdown - I'm still not sure about that, but I definitely experienced burn-out, lacked motivation to do my work even to a basic standard, and fell into depression, so I'm assuming that's what happened. Naturally, I took some time off work (with some encouragement from friends), but some time turned into a lot of time, and I ultimately took voluntary redundancy when the initial wave of covid layoffs started hitting the big firms.
That was a year ago now - and I think I've recovered from the family and other social drama - but I still don't feel driven to re-engage with work, and this is kind of a problem. I'm in a pretty good place, but if I stay in this state of almost complete inactivity, that won't last. So, I'm trying to figure out how to get back into things, but I don't want to just do the same thing I've been doing. Part of the problem is that I don't think I really understand what I'm good at; everything I do just comes naturally - there's no sense of accomplishment or effort - and I also don't really know what I want to do.
I thought I'd start by looking on this site for some advice/guidance, and while I was at it, I thought... let me see if anyone has a similar story, or at least a story they want to share, Maybe people here have had experiences akin to mine. Maybe I can learn from that or just not feel so... alien.
Well, you know that you want some kind of change, because you don't want to do the same things you've done before. I think that your life was safe and predictable, but it's become a bit stagnant over time. Perhaps you can use what you already know, and apply them in a different way. I mean there are bridges from one area of interest to another. I've had a teacher who went from dancing to animating, because both required knowledge of body movement and timing. So your skills in one field can be applied to another field.
What is also important is who you choose to be around, because they will affect you. People can pull you into all sorts of drama, and that's just unwarrented stress, and stress is bad for you, and I've concluded that people can be bad for you too (depending on if they're causing you stress a majority of the time or not). I've just chosen to stop interacting with stressful people, and basically cut myself off from them, for my own health and sanity. Do I miss them? Heck no! Who misses a thorn in their foot?