Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
Sorry I've been posting on here such a lot recently. I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this.
Did you find it hard to come to terms with, when you first realised you might be autistic? I haven't yet been diagnosed, but I'm becoming more and more sure that I am autistic, the more I find out about autism and recognise the signs in myself.
I'm finding that it's very hard for me to concentrate on work at the moment, and I'm just feeling upset, tense and unsettled. Also really anxious.
I don't know if this is normal or if anyone else experienced this when you were at a similar stage?
I don't know if I should try to fight it and carry on as normal, or give myself a bit of slack and try to rest a bit more when I can.
My realisation that I was probably Autistic came like a bolt of lightning around the same time my teen was about to be assessed. I put it out of my mind, as I was focusing on her, but started to struggle severely with my mental health and anxiety. A year or so later I suffered a burn out from trying to hide from it. I can’t begin to explain how I felt. But just over a year since, I’m recovering. Yet, I’m continually recalling instances from my past that scream Autism, and I feel angry and sorry for myself because it wasn’t picked up and I never received support. Life could have been so different. I’ve suffered in one way or another as long as I can remember. I don’t think like the masses, and find communication awkward, confusing and strange.I have since had a preliminary consult with a Psychologist, and have put myself forward for assessment, and should start the process in December.
Hi Catlover,
I'm really glad to hear that your assessment will probably be soon. I hope that it goes well and that you will feel listened to and validated. I hope you will find some of the answers about yourself that you have been looking for.
It sounds really frustrating that people didn't understand you in the past, and that you didn't get the support you need. I have had similar experiences. I had an eating disorder in my teens, and have recently read that many anorexics are autistic. If there had been awareness of this at the time, I may have been diagnosed sooner. I hope you eventually may find some peace within yourself about the fact that you weren't diagnosed earlier.
It sounds as though, when you first realised that you were probably autistic, your autistic traits intensified. Have I understood correctly? Or was it simply that you became more aware of them?