Social skills books for adults with Aspergers

"Asperger's from the Inside Out" by Michael John Carley

This is very nice suggestion.

Hi

I don't think there is one single book that has all the social skills advice you need,  However, there are several that are a good starting point.

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood.  I know this is not about social skills necessarily but it will help you identify your social patterns and that's a good starting point.

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends by Don Gabor. This is a great book and conversational ability.

The definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease.  A great book to learn about non-verbal cues.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  A great book about how to win favour get in with people.

Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.   A great book about the science of social interaction.

But jaengland I have to say if you read these books and absorb the lessons they contain you will make small steps in progress.  If you have an understanding and skilled therapist who knows about Autism and AS you will make bigger leaps.

I keep a social diary too which I keep track of my social successes and anything that confuses so I can share them with my therapist.

And lastly I wanted to say you can learn social skills.  It just takes time, dedication and effort but it does pay off.  So don't give up please.  I went from someone who always wore black and barely said two words to his tutors to being able to comfort people who are upset and talking to them about what's happened to make them so upset.  There is hope.

 ditto scorpion

I am reading two books just now, A self determined future with Aspergers syndrome and Asperger syndrome - a love story.

I keep away from Tony Attwood books, because all you get is lots of information without any real SOUL life working detail to use, his books seem for people who do not have aspergers but for people who work with aspergers and can pretend they are experts. If you wish to learn about Aspergers simply ask people who have the condition.

Just for the record, Asperger's (and Autism in general) is not a disease.

I have found Digby Tantam's book "Can the World Afford Autistic Spectrum Disorder? Nonverbal communication, asperger syndrome and the interbrain". It was published 2009 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. He has a neat way of explaining the social communication issues in terms of bandwidth, which seems to work for me.

Also I have made use of Edmonds and Beardon (2008) Asperger Syndrome & Social Relationships - Adults Speak out about Asperger Syndrome" again JKP. It suffers from the usual poroblem though of being an edited compilation of articles from different perspectives, without really getting down to how do you do it?

There really is a need for a book that gets down to why problems occur. And there isn't enough about eye contact and what purpose it serves - for example getting a drink at a crowded bar when you don't know how to get the barman's attention with your eyes.  Or how to spot the effects of stress or tiredness on how well you function socially.

I'm markedly affected by background noise and movement, if complex, thiough this isn't exclusive to autistic spectrum. It often means for me that what people are saying suddenly stops sounding like English. I then have to keep asking people to repeat what they said, or say I cannot make out what they are saying. So they then start saying things loudly and slowly right in my ear, as if they suppose I'm deaf, which makes no difference to my lost translation skill.

Not read them yet, but apparently these are the NAS recommended books on the subject:

Edmonds, G. and Worton, D. (2006) The Asperger social guide: how to relate with confidence to anyone in any social situation as an adult with Asperger's syndrome. London: Paul Chapman, 9781412920247, 111pp.
A self-help manual written by two adults with Asperger syndrome. Provides tips and strategies for dealing with a variety of social situations.
Available from Amazon or other booksellers.
Link to our selection:  www.autism.org.uk/amazonshop

Patrick, N.J. (2008) Social skills for teenagers and adults with Asperger syndrome: a practical guide to day-to-day life. London: Jessica Kingsley, 978184310876, 208pp.
Advice on day-to-day social skills, friendships and relationships eg visits to the dentist or doctor, searching for a job or dealing with public transport.
Available from Amazon or other booksellers.
Link to our selection:  www.autism.org.uk/amazonshop

My daughter has always used google to plan ahead for her social situations. She types in for eg.what do I do when a friend tells me his mother is sick? Generally she finds the answer.she has done immense study on a large variety of situations.She still comes up against situations but her research has given her solutions for her specific situations. All aspies have different challenges and have different sensitivities. I hope this helps

I read Tony Attwood's book and thought the same thing. It's heavily focussed on childhood development and I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult.

I spoke to someone who works for the NAS last week and he was going to send me a list of books focussed on adults in a couple of weeks, so I'll post them here if there's something that looks useful.

I used to be interested in this, but I am trying to get in touch with the 'real' me that is buried deep beneath the rubble of years and years of social conditioning. Eye contact can be painful in some situations, and I can only make eye contact once I am relaxed and have got to know the person. I have reached the conclusion that I should simply stop trying - it causes more stress than it is worth. As long as I say my pleases and thank yous, be polite and respectful, the eye contact is dispensable. Likewise, forced conversation is pointless, too. I need to stop trying, let my real self shine, and be myself. I will then find out who my real friends are...

I could do with one of them myself. At the mo I'm reading the Tony Atwood book but I'm bored with it cos it goes on and on about children with it. I'm not interested in children with it, I want a book targetted for adults only.