social anxiety/ and feeling exhausted in public

i do that as well i go either very early or very late. 

oh no sorry to hear that, yeah i understand when theres lots of people 

i understand, hows it going 

If I don't have my music on and there are loads of people in my local supermarket (it gets really packed) I have a meltdown from all the sensory issues combined with a social anxiety attack. At one point I nearly threw up and almost passed out because of it, and my mum had to get me out of there because I couldn't handle it. I sat down in the car where it was quiet, and I was able to calm down.

It's why I now go to the shops at the earliest possible time, so I can get my shopping done when it's quiet.

I know that feeling all too well. I cannot get myself to approach new people and get anxious when I am around crowds. I often experience awkward silence when having a conversation with friends and other people. But now I realise I need to get out of my comfort zone and try to make new friends.

and yes i sorta exploded in asda for that and got a bit shouty and exclaimed that everyone is fucking stupid and has a amazing lack of germ sense even in that situation. aye she soon fecked off quickly round some stalls lol

and got dragged out to heigh hall a country walk area with my mum one time during lockdown and there was so many people there, but they could have distanced better but they was all on this little asphalt path because no one wanted to stand on the mud or the grass because they scared of getting their shoes a little dirty so they all cramped up together like sardines risking getting corona from one another because getting corona is totally not as bad as getting a bit of dirt on their shoes.... and yes i exploded out in public for that too and shouted at everyone and called them all stupid lol although that was prompted by my mum telling me to get off the grass and tryna force me to pack in with the rest of the idiot sardines on the asphalt.

hell i hated that stuff before lockdown even, in wigan everyone always just walks straight into or through you, they dont move, you have to move for them or they just walk into your and knock you over. right fecking tossers round here.

anxious, yes very. exhausted? i dunno..... perhaps i get pissed off a bit which perhaps could be seen as being tired of everyone in some sense. especially in corona lockdowns, with people not sticking to the damn rules and breaking my personal space and even one time where some bint with a baby stood so close behind me that her baby sneezed all over the back of my neck during the corona lockdowns... yeah, that pissed me off. i get sick of people when im out and about because people are fucking stupid.

 thats nice you have friends :), thank you for messaging

Loz said:

I work in a customer facing role but it's easier to be sociable when I'm talking about work related stuff. When I'm not at work, I'm happier being on my own.

Yep - you're able to play a role - a performance - it has defined rules and objectives - all nice and predictable - we love that sort of thing.

Interfacing with random people is hard - you have no idea what's coming next.

If you want friends, the easiest way is to look at your childhood hobbies and find groups into the grown-up version - for example, historic recreationists or sci-fi convention-goers.

I'd be wary of things like eco-villages - there's an awful lot of people out there with severe mental issues trying to fix the world - and they congregate in activist-linked groups.    Way too risky.

Have you looked at meetup-com?      People just set up meetings-  pub nights, bowling, lunches, specialist groups etc and you just go along and see if you fit.   It's very low stress-  no commitment.

SPAM

I don't really have friends, but I am friendly. I work in a customer facing role but it's easier to be sociable when I'm talking about work related stuff. When I'm not at work, I'm happier being on my own. I have certain interests, but unfortunately, my current living situation means that I can't pursue it as much as I would like. I'm working towards it though. There is an eco village that I would like to be a part of if they would allow me to join. The small community of people with similar goals to myself is far more appealing than trying to survive in the normal world where I need to deal with so many different people in so many different ways. I'm still not planning on having friends who I choose at the exclusion of all others. I'm happy to drift in and out as it suits without being under pressure that comes from responsibilities of those types of close knit friendships.

I find social anxiety is always there ,except with a very few people who become friends . 

as far as i remember social anxiety can be improved with increased socialising

aw thats nice you have friends, i understand it's uncomfortable in public places. thank you for messaging :)

I just got off a Skype call with two friends I have known since we were fourteen, they are both neurotypical. We Skype each Friday evening when we are all available. It is possible for autists to have and maintain friendships, the luck is finding people who are accepting of autistic social limitations and forgive occasional misunderstandings. After a while, you don't feel anxious being with your  friends, though I admit that meeting them in some public places can still be uncomfortable.