irritability, interacting/listening to others

Hello, 

I was wondering whether anyone else experiences heightened irritibility when interacting with others.

I get irritated when having conversations with people I know well, like close family members because I feel like after years of studying them and taking in every detail as an outsider, their behaviour, outlook and what they say has become really predictable. 

I wonder if through struggling with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder I have come to resent the ease with which neurotypical people can handle daily life, which seems so at odds with my own experience. Perhaps I feel like I'm not getting enough support and recognition for my own struggles and difficulties. 

These kind of over analysing of others and my irritibility is making my life really hard. I even find reading the books set for my university course, like autobiographies, really difficult because I'm tired of reading about other people's experiences in a world that I am not a part of/which I can't relate to but which I seem to know inside out from all my research and observations.

Can anybody relate or offer any advice?

Thank you,

Parents
  • I recently heard from a friend who's in philosophy circles that Lacan believed a 'marker' of autism was the inability to create solid defence mechanisms (sublimation or withdrawing). Now, psychologists can talk about these becoming crippling when they're below a conscious awareness for someone living in a sort of 'survival' mode. This makes sense to me. But also my tolerance level of superficial under-analysing NT behaviour is quite low. I much prefer to make a swift escape and indulge in more interesting activities like reading a thing I'm learning or even work. 

    There is a saying 'familiarity breed contempt'. But I believe there is more to this saying than just being familiar with someone. 

    Do you feel there's an issue with fairness sometimes? Might ethics be involved? Not being able to relate in the least can make a subject dull. But that aside, it's OK to have standards. With invested relationships, I've had to learn interesting and kind ways to express my standards and expectations. Sometimes, like a 'no a**hole rule', they're perfectly rational. I've asked people if they intend to come across arrogant or if there's something awkward in communication. When expressed with a practiced comedic timing, others tend to feel less stressed and respond. 

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  • I recently heard from a friend who's in philosophy circles that Lacan believed a 'marker' of autism was the inability to create solid defence mechanisms (sublimation or withdrawing). Now, psychologists can talk about these becoming crippling when they're below a conscious awareness for someone living in a sort of 'survival' mode. This makes sense to me. But also my tolerance level of superficial under-analysing NT behaviour is quite low. I much prefer to make a swift escape and indulge in more interesting activities like reading a thing I'm learning or even work. 

    There is a saying 'familiarity breed contempt'. But I believe there is more to this saying than just being familiar with someone. 

    Do you feel there's an issue with fairness sometimes? Might ethics be involved? Not being able to relate in the least can make a subject dull. But that aside, it's OK to have standards. With invested relationships, I've had to learn interesting and kind ways to express my standards and expectations. Sometimes, like a 'no a**hole rule', they're perfectly rational. I've asked people if they intend to come across arrogant or if there's something awkward in communication. When expressed with a practiced comedic timing, others tend to feel less stressed and respond. 

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