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irritability, interacting/listening to others

NAS73515

Hello, 

I was wondering whether anyone else experiences heightened irritibility when interacting with others.

I get irritated when having conversations with people I know well, like close family members because I feel like after years of studying them and taking in every detail as an outsider, their behaviour, outlook and what they say has become really predictable. 

I wonder if through struggling with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder I have come to resent the ease with which neurotypical people can handle daily life, which seems so at odds with my own experience. Perhaps I feel like I'm not getting enough support and recognition for my own struggles and difficulties. 

These kind of over analysing of others and my irritibility is making my life really hard. I even find reading the books set for my university course, like autobiographies, really difficult because I'm tired of reading about other people's experiences in a world that I am not a part of/which I can't relate to but which I seem to know inside out from all my research and observations.

Can anybody relate or offer any advice?

Thank you,

  • in reply to Caelus

    TV is meaningless.

  • in reply to Caelus

    Never forget, the NT world runs on lies & fakery and double standards.

  • ah, i get irritated sometimes because people just speak slowly and not get to the point and finish their words fast enough when i know full well what they are going to say because they probably said it enough times and its just a bore waiting for the end of it to talk when i already know what their entire sentence is, kinda like in games i already read the convo log i just wanna press skip lol sometimes i just answer before they finish their sentence as a sort of skip and just answer over them.

    as for being irritated about others lives... i feel that.... what irritates me more is celebrities with their big smiles on tv... its pretty annoying watching someone else so smiley and happy and it being all over tv to kinda just taunt you. like oh look at me and how happy and perfect i am and have everything... like. well good for you celebrity, your the only person in this world allowed to be happy while the rest of us cannot be. i feel we need real people on tv, not these rich fake celebs that are happy and havent had a propper life or experience.

  • My poor O/H has at least one near death experience over this per week!

    I just wish she'd get to the point first and then give me the flowery descriptions..

  • I recently heard from a friend who's in philosophy circles that Lacan believed a 'marker' of autism was the inability to create solid defence mechanisms (sublimation or withdrawing). Now, psychologists can talk about these becoming crippling when they're below a conscious awareness for someone living in a sort of 'survival' mode. This makes sense to me. But also my tolerance level of superficial under-analysing NT behaviour is quite low. I much prefer to make a swift escape and indulge in more interesting activities like reading a thing I'm learning or even work. 

    There is a saying 'familiarity breed contempt'. But I believe there is more to this saying than just being familiar with someone. 

    Do you feel there's an issue with fairness sometimes? Might ethics be involved? Not being able to relate in the least can make a subject dull. But that aside, it's OK to have standards. With invested relationships, I've had to learn interesting and kind ways to express my standards and expectations. Sometimes, like a 'no a**hole rule', they're perfectly rational. I've asked people if they intend to come across arrogant or if there's something awkward in communication. When expressed with a practiced comedic timing, others tend to feel less stressed and respond. 

  • Update: I am beginning to see that part of the problem might come from feeling undervalued myself, which could be remedied by self-esteem boosting activities like creative output and finding a way to express myself. I am probably therefore creating an unhelpful split in my mind between me and everyone else. This means I expect too much of others - that they should be super interesting or super humble or something in order to get the right to talk about themselves. Perhaps if I find a way to develop my own voice, there will be more space in my life for the voices of others, which I can judge more generously, kindly and less harshly.

  • Totally, I'm thinking "get on with it i know what you are saying"