bullying of autistic people (trigger warning for those who have experienced bullying, please do not read)

i've only been a member of this forum for four days and i've NEVER witnessed as much bullying of autistic people in my whole time on the internet. it's disgraceful. i don't know what ratio of people on here ARE ACTUALLY autistic, but i think for those of you engaged in character assassination and ridicule of autistic behaviour it's worth reminding yourself about the wonderful world of autism. 

firstly, a big shout out to some very special people on here, rare among the fragile egos and bullies that seem to dominate the rest of the forum.

secondly,

People with autism have challenges with communication and social skills. They often find it hard to have conversations and may not pick up on social cues. Communication includes understanding, talking, READING, and WRITING. 

so, before you jump down someone's throat for saying the wrong thing or using the wrong word. STOP! THINK! and REMEMBER that you may be communicating with an autistic person who does not have a strong sense of the nuances of the english language as you do.

(although) WHY THIS SHOULD EVEN HAVE TO BE POINTED OUT TO YOU ON A SITE LIKE THIS IS BEYOND BELIEF!!!  BUT YOU WHO HAVE DONE IT OR ARE DOING IT KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES !

if you are a so called high functioning autist with excellent linguistic skills, or you're not autistic with excellent communication and written skills, then before you start to bombard someone with criticism, or shame them for something they have written STOP! THINK and REMEMBER that you may be communicating with an autistic person who does not have a strong sense of the nuances of the english language as you do.

A person with autism may have challenges understanding and using words learning to read or write—some autistic people do not understand what they read 

(although) WHY THIS SHOULD EVEN HAVE TO BE POINTED OUT TO YOU ON A SITE LIKE THIS IS BEYOND BELIEF!!!  BUT YOU WHO HAVE DONE IT OR ARE DOING IT KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES !

use this site below to educate yourself on autism and autistic people and STOP! before you shame someone for their autistic behaviour.  and anyone who has done this in the past three days SHOULD BE F@IN@G ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.  personally, i wouldn't allow you within a mile of an autistic person! EDUCATE YOURSELF ON AUTISM ! take a chill pill, show some fucking human compassion and stop bullying autistic people ! if something someone says triggers your fragile little ego, MOVE ON and let people BE WHO THEY ARE


https://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/autism/#:~:text=About%20Autism-,People%20with%20autism%20have%20challenges%20with%20communication%20and%20social%20skills,making%20friends%20and%20communicating%20socially.

Parents
  • I think you need to name names, or at least cite some examples to make your point more effectively, as otherwise we are all just going to not really be sure what you are referring to. If we as a group were really good at recognising bullying in it;s early stages, I don't think we would all be so prone to being victims in that way.  

    When I read your post, I instantly wondered if I am one of those whose posts you have found offensive. I've certainly done the gold star bullying course over many, many decades, which has predisposed me to find bullying to be a cowardly and repulsive behaviour, but I've also lived and survived in a world of bullying for 6 decades, I KNOW I've learned "bullying" behaviour, which I very rarely allow myself to use outside of "banter" and humour both of which seem to be highly prized if almost useless skills in the real world. My G.P. flat put didn't believe I was Autistic, because of my communication skills (as he saw them) and to be honest it can take me a substantial amount of time before my Autism gets in the way, so much so that I don't really know how much of me is really me and how much started out as mimicry and "hardened"... 

    Humour, particularly of the form of slyly taking the mickey, was extremely useful in the split with my child's mother. When a Human couple split up there is a tendancy for all that love to curdle towards hatred, which if there are kids involved (or come to think of it even if there aren't) can just make a trqgedy even worse. I had to constantly find ways to silently ridicule the posturing & provocations of my ex, just to stop getting too wound up. (Vast amounts of cannabis was also amazingly helpful to me, in terms of keeping my own emotions in check, and my attitude more mellow than it would have been. The "detachment from reality" aspect that most Autists can manage even without the dope, can be really handy in such situations, because one can stand apart and "game" a situation (such as an evolving car crash, or relationship break down, or even being arrested by the police) in an emergency. Well, I can, anyway. 

    Many decades ago I was introduced to Hare's PCL/r, when I realised that most people do not have my ability to disengage emotionally during a disaster, and just "work the problem" and wondered if I was a genuine Psychopath.. If you go to some of the Asperger's forums the endless tales of mental illness come as a huge shock. I came away thinking "***, I don't want this! Every mental illness you can think of appears as a SYMPTOM to these guys!

    OF the avoidance of doubt, I scored around 34 on my online test and around 38 on my NHS pre-assessment test. They reckon I've "done very well" and don't need any help of any type, so I figured I may have something I should be sharing with the wider Autistic community, and have set out to do that.

    At least I'll do this until/unless I find that it is the wrong thing to be doing, in which case I can use the time to watch more "Goldrush" where I study people who actually work hard and are successful at what they do. I am trying to learn how to "follow through" and "stick at it" with the right things a bit more, than I currently manage. Also I need to know how to most effectively look after, and manage people who work for me, because I'm getting too old to do all the work that needs doing.

Reply
  • I think you need to name names, or at least cite some examples to make your point more effectively, as otherwise we are all just going to not really be sure what you are referring to. If we as a group were really good at recognising bullying in it;s early stages, I don't think we would all be so prone to being victims in that way.  

    When I read your post, I instantly wondered if I am one of those whose posts you have found offensive. I've certainly done the gold star bullying course over many, many decades, which has predisposed me to find bullying to be a cowardly and repulsive behaviour, but I've also lived and survived in a world of bullying for 6 decades, I KNOW I've learned "bullying" behaviour, which I very rarely allow myself to use outside of "banter" and humour both of which seem to be highly prized if almost useless skills in the real world. My G.P. flat put didn't believe I was Autistic, because of my communication skills (as he saw them) and to be honest it can take me a substantial amount of time before my Autism gets in the way, so much so that I don't really know how much of me is really me and how much started out as mimicry and "hardened"... 

    Humour, particularly of the form of slyly taking the mickey, was extremely useful in the split with my child's mother. When a Human couple split up there is a tendancy for all that love to curdle towards hatred, which if there are kids involved (or come to think of it even if there aren't) can just make a trqgedy even worse. I had to constantly find ways to silently ridicule the posturing & provocations of my ex, just to stop getting too wound up. (Vast amounts of cannabis was also amazingly helpful to me, in terms of keeping my own emotions in check, and my attitude more mellow than it would have been. The "detachment from reality" aspect that most Autists can manage even without the dope, can be really handy in such situations, because one can stand apart and "game" a situation (such as an evolving car crash, or relationship break down, or even being arrested by the police) in an emergency. Well, I can, anyway. 

    Many decades ago I was introduced to Hare's PCL/r, when I realised that most people do not have my ability to disengage emotionally during a disaster, and just "work the problem" and wondered if I was a genuine Psychopath.. If you go to some of the Asperger's forums the endless tales of mental illness come as a huge shock. I came away thinking "***, I don't want this! Every mental illness you can think of appears as a SYMPTOM to these guys!

    OF the avoidance of doubt, I scored around 34 on my online test and around 38 on my NHS pre-assessment test. They reckon I've "done very well" and don't need any help of any type, so I figured I may have something I should be sharing with the wider Autistic community, and have set out to do that.

    At least I'll do this until/unless I find that it is the wrong thing to be doing, in which case I can use the time to watch more "Goldrush" where I study people who actually work hard and are successful at what they do. I am trying to learn how to "follow through" and "stick at it" with the right things a bit more, than I currently manage. Also I need to know how to most effectively look after, and manage people who work for me, because I'm getting too old to do all the work that needs doing.

Children
  • good morning, Mr Isperg. no, i have only had a limited interaction with a few posters, some very kind and patient and some not so very kind nor patient. the perpetrators of this bullying know who they are. i don't think it is kind or useful to name names in this instance as i believe it would be an invitation for he said/she said and more of the same. hopefully my post has reminded those that have been are quick to jump on me and ridicule me that this is a public forum where autistic people of all levels will communicate and should be able to do so without fear of being shamed if there communication style is not as advanced as higher-level autists or non-autists. 

    the simple message is to read a typed comment (or ignore it) and not rush to label someone as rude or aggressive because they are not able to indulge in the same language niceties as those with higher level linguistic capabilities. it takes a degree of patience, which i understand is difficult for some, but on site such as this, it should be a given to take a step back before launching into an attack on someone.