Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm just wondering has anyone ever thought they have done both of these at any time in their lives ?
I often read on here that it is usually females that internalise whereas males mostly mask. Is this correct ?
Looking back, I feel I have done both. I am male. I know there are males here who have said they internalise
and others I suspect have had the same experience. Perhaps far more than care to admit due to the stereo-typing
that it's only likely to be females who internalise ? In any case, isn't the outcome and diagnoses the same at the end of the day ?
I.e Exhaustion ?
What is your experience ?
Hi Turtle,I'm not sure if I agree with this whole concept of masking as something specific to autism. For me, masking, as it is usually described, is probably something that is common to all humans. Everyone does it to a lesser or greater extent; concealing one's emotions or portraying oneself as someone different in order to be accepted and avoid rejection, seems a pretty common trait in all people regardless of their age, creed or disability. Do some people do it more than others? Definitely. Do autistic people do it more than non-autistic people? I don't know.
I think we definitely do. I change who I am so frequently and sometimes in the same day, to the extent that I don't know who I am. I have moved around a bit and I've changed my accent to blend in. I have no sense of who I am in my likes and dislikes because I take on the likes of the people that I like.
You are right that everyone masks, especially when meeting new people, but I think autistic people mask to the detriment of their own mental wellbeing. I do anyway.
M said:I have no sense of who I am in my likes and dislikes because I take on the likes of the people that I like.
Lots of people are chameleons to fit a social expectation - but what do you do when you're on your own?
I agree with you Plastic. I write a lot of comedy and this 'fitting in' whether conscious or unconscious, is what drives the vast majority of situational comedy. It also provides the fatal character flaw for so many of our best loved comedic characters. In fact, the whole genre of farce is based characters entering a new situation attempting to blend in by covering up (or mask) some aspect of their character. The comedy escalates as they fail and are forced to go to extremes.
It is simply the truth
This made ma laugh out loud, Hook. Thank you x
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