Can anyone recommend support options please? (BPD/EUPD)

"My plan is to understand more about the Aspie parts of me"

Yeah, I see. And, yes, it's good having this forum available

Yes I do agree.  I have lots of BPD friends and colleagues, but don't always feel able to contact them as they have lots going on too.  My plan is to understand more about the Aspie parts of me, I've already found some great reading which has cleared up a few things about my life experiences.  In the end, it has to come from me (just a tad exhausting sometimes).  Great to have this forum!

I've found that most of the work seems to need to be done by the person with the condition. I've found someone in my area with a BPD diagnosis and we were talking about it last night. How there's quite a lack of useful therapy.

It seems like those of us with a BPD diagnosis can probably learn quite a lot from talking with each other. I know quite a lot of us are quite intuitive people, so we can hear what helps others and work out what might help ourselves to an extent.

Thank you all.  I just need to get to grips with this.  Really do appreciate everything offered and wish meditation was something that I could benefit from - great to hear that this works for some.

I have a work ethic which I cannot change.  I do also love my work as a lived experience researcher as this is my way of making things better but without shouting.  Got to jump into bed now so that I can catch the sunrise tomorrow.  Thank you.

Bankei,  AD1600 , a Zen Master advice  was to get out into Nature  and observe everything as you walk

Makes complete sense to me - we need a formulation approach.  We might appear competent, we can dress well for appointments (I even do this for phone calls)...but there is no understanding and perhaps a fear of incompetency on behalf of those in positions of power, by which I mean MH and particularly psychiatry.  It is such a shame. 

yes, good idea

i agree :)

Hi,

wrennie, and viol3tdreamer,

I read alot of Zen/buddhism stuff and

just to let you known that the walking and   painting , knitting, running, sport, chopping wood, Tai Chi  are the "by doing" meditations promoted by Zen.

They seem to work for certain people when the sitting version fails.

So keep practising them they really are good for you 

Wrennie said:

It's quite hard as I work 10-12 hours a day, 6 days a week and my one day off is usually due to exhaustion, or doing something 'daft' to cope, so I spend it in my PJ's.

Unless you absolutely jump out of bed with joy and enthusiasm to this work everyday then I would say it is one of the major obstacles in any healing or progress. If not, then this is self-abuse and cannot last long-term.   

In my experience, most therapists are clueless about autism. I've been told by therapists "but you don't look autistic!" and that I'm smart enough to be able to mask and should try harder, and also one who said that autism is "extremely rare" in women... and another who openly admitted that she doesn't know anything about autism and has never met an autistic person before. I have a friend who is also high-functioning autistic, and her therapist told her that because she is high-functioning, her autism isn't a disability but more of a "difference" that makes her "special"... she was not impressed.

Also, most therapists refuse to work with borderlines due to the unfair stigma attached to the disorder. 

Sorry - rational thinking, not rationale!

Hello and thank you.  Mediation is a nightmare but too frequently cited (although a friend with BPD and ADHD finds it really helpful).  I actually tried art therapy late last year but the therapist refused to work with me after two sessions due as she said she didn't want the responsibility (possibly also because I am not good at art!).  I do take loads of photos when out running, mostly of the same thing, so maybe I should work out how I can use these.  It's quite hard as I work 10-12 hours a day, 6 days a week and my one day off is usually due to exhaustion, or doing something 'daft' to cope, so I spend it in my PJ's.  I am trying to find something and am happy to pay if reasonable rates to help me get over the MBT, but even looking for this is exhausting.  I had a GP call today and they had no idea what to offer; have to wonder why this is so difficult for the NHS to understand.  Maybe we need to set something up for people who have both personality disorder and autism?

Thank you, I did get out, albeit a bit later, and it was lovely.  Also had a run this morning at 5.45am and hope to do the same tomorrow.  Thank you also for the offer to chat more - I have since heard back from the people who did my autism assessment and have a call booked for Saturday.  Shall see what they have by way of suggestions.  I think I am still angry about how MH services have treated me and need to find a way to get over this and move on!  Considering I went through MBT and found it so hard to do the mentalising aspect, the rationale thinking process has not improved much; other than I am more determined to find like-minded people.

I also have a diagnosis of BPD as well as autism! Like yourself, I also can't meditate. I find that painting/drawing or walks in nature help to calm my mind and make me feel more present.

I hope you got to get out and watch a sunrise with your partner. Or get to do that soon at least 

I've noticed that the people I know (either in person or online) with EUPD tend to have gone through a whole journey to get their diagnosis.

If you'd like to talk about some of difficulties or situations that autism and EUPD presents for you, I'd be happy to read and have a think about whether I get similar, or how closely I can relate.

I think falling into black and white thinking can be difficult if it comes to emotional situations. To judge a situation calmly/rationally, when things look very bleak or against oneself, can feel very difficult or even seem impossible to deal with in the moment, at times.

Thank you for the response, good to hear that some of my comments resonated. I agree that understanding takes a long time; I am still working on this but have found my compassion through having a new explanation.  I also went through multiple diagnoses many years ago, but again I agree that the emotion dysregulation underlies many of these.  You have inspired me to get out in the car early tomorrow and find somewhere to watch the sunrise with my partner - all I have to do is get him out of bed early enough!

I've had a tentative diagnosis of EUPD. I'm not sure it totally fit me though. I tend to feel I'm possibly ADHD-y or possibly something like bipolar II. There's quite a bit of overlap between each of these. EUPD, ADHD and bipolar all seem to have the elements of emotion dysregulation as a key feature.

I seem to have some Aspie-ish traits but I'm waiting (and waiting :) ) to get a diagnosis to help work out which ones of these many conditions I may or may not have.

Some of the things write about strike a chord with me. Researching things is a passion for me. I used to research health matters, now unemployed, I research history (but also psychological things too).

There's quite a freedom in the sight of sunrises and sunsets. I really like to be out to watch the sun either rising or falling and the sky going orange and pink. It's nice to be out with someone else to watch a sunrise or sunset together with 

As for support ... I don't totally know. Things that have made things a touch easier for me have been understanding. Understanding myself and understanding others. Which is a life's work and ongoing. Connecting with others who understand or even just kind of understand is a bit of support in itself I find. (?)