I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks
Exactly. I still look back and wish I'd managed it all more safely though. I was at risk and completely oblivious to that. Plus, quite apart from wild oats it was also about stimming, feeling accepted (though preferably adored!) and somehow cancelling out the effects of bullying and rejection earlier in my teenage years. I had thought I was completely undesirable as a result of this bullying and it turned out I wasn't.
Yeah, the judbements bs. I too went through this....hey, women have wild oats they have to sew too.
Ah yes, I suppose I do at least have the consolation that there will be regrets either way. And maybe some will envy me my misspent youth. :) I do wish I could erase some memories though, largely of the things I can't believe I did and which, upon reflection, may have been a bizarre outcropping of an ill-fitting mask.
There's been threads about 'status' on here - thinking about it, ASD people tend to be status-blind - I wonder if that's why we can do poly and NTs can't?
Does the NT's need for dominance mean they can only repress their natural state for a limited time before they need to assert it again and the poly relationship falls apart?.
Yeah, I think that's why a lot of people don't do it, I think because there's a lot of different definitions to it and a lot of different categories. I think poly is rare here in Scotland. But I understand what you mean. everyone has there own taste, I respect everyone opinions,
I definitely do not have a reduced sexual desire, I've always had a very happy sex life, I have met people saying stuff like, "You are disabled, How do you manage, loser" and I'm not going to repeat what the other messages are saying, I'm Poly, so I have met a lot of people, So I'm pretty happy with my desires,
Social research is usually questionnaire based. They get a sample of people and ask them a panel of pre determined questions, often on paper. Much like the studies I referenced earlier in the thread. But the choice of questions and the selection of samples can sometimes be very questionable.
Respectfully, as esteemed as mayo clinic may be as an institution I don't think you can argue their patient information pages are intended as clear cut definitions of medical conditions.
I can summarise why hyper sexuality does not meet the criteria for a medical condition.
The fact its not in the dsm-5 and that ICD-11 only acknowledges it as a problem when serious distress is involved tends to suggest prevailing medical opinion is on my side at present. I question your reliance on your own personal experience as an argument, indeed it seems to be the core of your argument. It's not very scientific, It can't be replicated or measured objectively.
Perhaps I'm even more of an anomaly than I thought
I'm not convinced you are. There is a confirmation bias when dealing with autistic people that they are introverted and undersexed. People struggle to cope with the idea that you can be extroverted and desire social contact while not being very good at it or that you can want sex with out being very good at forming stable relationships. Of course there is something of a dichotomy of the sexes going on. I don't know if you've ever seen those youtube videos where they set up a hidden camera and have a young man or women go up and ask people if they want to have sex. Turns out about 1 in 100 women will say yes to a man who approaches them for casual sex but maybe 50% of men will say yes to a woman who approaches them for casual sex. I would say, for young women at least, good social skills are much less important for finding willing sexual partners.
I suspect most young people have regrets regarding their relationships autistic and neurotypical. Although if it's an consolation coming for a very conservative background I can tell you a youth of abstinence and chastity also comes with some regrets, life is not necessarily greener on the other side.
Ah, I'm afraid I didn't have the substantial social relationship bit. I was more like Saga in The Bridge, where she goes out "fishing" specifically because she wants sex. Huge urges, need for connection, stimmy satisfaction and a release for my imagination. Sometimes a substantial relationship developed from this but most often not. In bed afterwards, once I felt calm and able to speak more freely, I could feel my "partner" shrinking away and thinking, "What have I done? This woman is talking about German poetry and existentialism and I want out!"
Perhaps I'm even more of an anomaly than I thought but I think it also has to do with an (underdeveloped?) knowledge of social norms, naivety and ignorance of possible dangers? It all allowed me to become extremely vulnerable whilst feeling (masking) confidence and elation, which I think does link in with being autistic.
Interesting 1st article, haven't read the 2nd one yet---but very cool.
