Autism and sexual desire

That's probably why there might be so many autistic horn dogs supposedly. Its not due to their autism its their ADHD and so even people with just ADHD can have the same problem. Makes me wonder just how many so called 'autistic traits' are actually due to other comorbid conditions.  I have to admit this is a post with a substantial amount of interest in it by people.  Being hypersexual means you have a condition not that your just open and liberal.

Peter said:

Also few people say, go to an orgy, say 'lets bang.' and start having sex with a total stranger.

That's really not how it works     I know a few people who have tried to arrange them and it's difficult to get men to turn up - and to perform in front of each other..

I don't really want to push the boundaries of this website's rules - but the swinging scene is rather middle-class - very civilised - very safe - if you're into that sort of thing. 

There's lots of ways to get around touch or skin sensitivity - which is a whole subject in itself - and probably too frank for this forum. 

It's posable to feel overwhelmed by something and not hate it. Not all autistic people are super touch sensitive and even for those who are there is good and bad touch. As for conversation I quite enjoy meeting new people, sure it makes me very anxious sometimes but when it goes right the pay off is worth it. It's all about context and control. Also few people say, go to an orgy, say 'lets bang.' and start having sex with a total stranger. Even if you were to pick some one up in a bar you'd get to know them a little first, establish a degree of rapour.

There can be a big difference between going in for a polite handshake then they pull you in for a hug with someone you've just met and with some one you've been talking to for half an hour. I guess what I'm saying is sometimes people click.

It's very telling that this study seems to have a real problem with people accessing pornography - I wonder which church-backed pressure group paid for it?

The whole problem with humans is we deny our basic purpose - to survive and procreate - so everyone is trying to judge things that are completely natural.      In the wild, access to food or sex may be extremely limited - so as a species, we're designed to grab all we can when it's available. 

ADHD is reasonably linked with possible hypersexuality in men and women.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30852107/

Might it not be better to rename this string something like 'Strange People and Sexual Desire'?. Only for the last few years of six & a half decades have I been given an opportunity to relabel myself; and even now it is constantly in some doubt. For some of us, I guess, we were reminded almost daily that we were far too complex for the comfort of other sexual beings; and they were also often far too complex for our comfort. I lived through the supposedly 'free & easy' times of the sixties and seventies and have to say that they were mostly for seemingly 'beautiful' people. I agree with Plastic that some neuro-diverse people are quite open-minded, experimental and flexible; i reckon I would be myself. if I weren't so frequently sent to the 'kitchen' at parties.

It never really quite works out for some of us. Small wonder then that a lot of us continue to live in fantasy land. In my case, it is quite interesting and very practical to live like that; but I certainly know that my fantasies are just that. I am quite realistic about not indulging my fantasies to the point where I lose sight of reality. I'm just plain boring really. I probably didn't use to be that way, but when you are constantly reminded when you are young just how deeply 'unfashionable' you are; you get to the point where you prefer to be boring. The sad thing is that I used to have  some degree of romance, but it was never reciprocated; so it's now mostly gone. I have no interest in real poetry these days. My (considerable) humour has become somewhat cynical, as a result. 

And then you suddenly wake up one day and realise what the problem is, but it's already too late. Sure, some old farts do have sex & romance as OAPs; but yet again, it's not that inclusive.

i prefer good conversation......... that's really hard for me to find. my viewpoint is so either out there, or specific, or opionated... other than my therapist, the only person i can really talk to lives in ... france. across the pond from me. for sex i've seen professionals (bdsm). but at my age (65) and with my asd, i guess i prefer emotional closeness and some bdsm from them. i don't do this v often (partly due to expense). 

i don't like prostitutes because ...i guess that's always seemed fake. i no some bdsm is maybe faked - but generally, bdsm is so out there that i think it's simply more honest. 

so far i sort of split sex and intimacy and friendship into separate buckets. i dont' understand people who can find all two or three in one being.

Her whole shtick is an act - it's what gets her on tv and sells her books   

Toyah is doing a similar thing right now - brilliantly - Sunday's song was Ace Of Spades - while she dances in the kitchen dressed as a French maid.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4WYG26xZ_w

Sex sells - it's incredibly easy to get headlines and generate clicks for income.     

Anyone remember Sue Wilkinson's "You Gotta Be a Hustler If You Want To Get On"?   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT0T6ErJEJU   it pretty much describes the internet generation.  

I met her in person at a book signing and she didn't say anything sexy so I'd guess it is definitely deliberate. 

i can never work out if Nigella is doing that deliberately or not

I have had a very varied sex life but it is more intimacy that I struggle to deal with. I can't really be loving. I can act sexy and alluring as that is more theatrical anyway - nobody is constantly sexual, not even Nigella Lawson - but intimacy requires a genuine type of feeling hat I think is unreachable for me. I can try but I feel uncomfortable very quickly. 

I'm probably a really frustrating wife!!! 

It's very rarely running around naked and sleeping with anything that moves.. 

Quite a lot explore the bdsm scene - it's all about control and perfection and protocol.  

How can people who struggle to actually even talk to other people or hate it when they are touched by strangers in general be running about naked sleeping with anything that moves. Doesn't make sense.  Doesn't add up to me. As Victor Meldrew would say, "I don't believe it!"

If you look through most adult toy catalogue, the vast majority of them are for women - they get all the good stuff - and probably demonstrates the demographics of the customers.

Isn't the standard joke that if you sit on your hand until it goes numb, it feels like someone else..... 

I think the Victorians really screwed up a lot of the social things and sex was the biggest one - the prudish, repressed and inhibited attitudes still hang around today - even though we've been through the 'swinging 60s'.

It is something that I personally brought up in part of my assessment because it is certainly a go to "reliever of tension" for me, both in my childhood and as an adult. It is awkward to discuss with a stranger when speaking on the phone... easier to type. But I definitely think sexual desire and pleasure is in itself a spectrum and we all probably engage in different levels of it, whether solo or with others. 

I think the female orgasm is great though personally. Big fan. I'm sure the male orgasm feels good too but less so on the receiving end... for me at least.

I think sex is pretty intimidating really but masturbation being private (for most) you can at least do the trial and error in private and the only person you will disappoint is yourself haha. 

I've met people at both ends of the spectrum (no pun intended). Some autistic people who say 'ew bodily fluids creep me out so the idea of sex is imposable for me' through to girls who'd say things like 'yes I've slept with 5 men at the same time? So what? I had fun, everyone involved was ok with it. Will probably do it again next week.' The irony is with the former people find perfectly acceptable but with the latter they start talking about whether people need protecting from themselves. It's that sort of patronising attitude I find distasteful.

It's not universal - but surprisingly common.

I beg to differ for this autie at least.

I used to edit a magazine for alternative lifestyles - the thing I noticed with high-functioning auties and aspies is 'there are no limits'.    If you can think of it, and it's fun, and everyone enjoys the experience, then why not?    Lots of 'exploring the limits of sensation' stuff.