explaining to my employer

Hi, whatnots2015: 

I just want to warmly echo aidie’s wise and kind words and send you lots of support and encouragement. I have found that in workplaces the people who mistreat those were different or make occasional mistakes are the most insecure workers, those who do not pursue doing their best and often have middling skills. They are usually aware of that, too, on at least a subconscious level.

If it is possible to maintain a positive attitude and ignore coworkers who have mistreated you, that simple act of ignoring, with of course the caveat that you need to do what you do to work with them, can send them a strong signal about your healthy confidence and their lack of power or influence over you.

I would gently agree that disclosing prior to diagnosis is not necessarily a great idea, because you do not have the formal paperwork to back you up. I wish it wasn’t the case, but in this day and age, particularly in non-government, non-education or social services type workplaces, autism awareness appears to be quite low.

I think an exception to not disclosing pre-diagnosis would be if you simply could not carry on in your work, internally in your own mind and heart, without disclosing now. If you did so, then you would be taking a risk, but I think our wellness is priority one. 

I’m sending you lots of support,

Elizabeth

I don’t think it’s rude to ask but I have tried multiple different ways of disclosing my diagnosis in about 17 different employment opportunities and I have even tried not disclosing my diagnosis and hiding my autism traits at work. Not disclosing and hiding my autistic traits was a massive Mistake I don’t recommend you do it, you make yourself ill and exhausted until you don’t have the energy to camouflage and mask you autistic traits.

Before the age of twenty two before receiving my autism diagnosis I was awaiting to be assessed from the age of sixteen. I had worked in a multitude of different work environments as a livestock worker, kitchen assistant, horticultural worker, cleaner, floor associate, shop assistant, bar tender, landscape gardener, warehouse worker and factory worker.

In many of the work environments while waiting for my diagnosis, their always seemed to be one  co workers who notice my autism related traits and in many of these situations they would unnecessarily go to my employer and share their  suspicious, which would end up with me having to attend a meeting with my employer which would end up ending in one of three situations.

1) I would get to the end of my initial agreed probation period and then they would unfairly extend it time and time again and initiate the legal managing out protocol which involves giving me un realistic tasks and finding any excuse to discipline procedures. 

2) the employer would use the fact that I haven’t got a official diagnosis and would scrutinise for pursing it and encourage workplace bullying Against me, if I was on a zero hour contract they would purposely give me less hours, give me irradiated hours working two three hour shifts five hours apart and even change rota with no notice to intentionally trying to make me struggle.

3) the employer would try and use every legal  jargon in the book to encourage me too quit until I agree to quit on “good terms” and in some situations it was suggested that I was a danger too my coworkers despite never having a meltdown at work.

The most recent employment opportunities when I disclosed my autism diagnosis was horrific. My employer had disclosed my autism diagnosis with the entire team against my wishes. I was working with six other men who had no understanding of autism and they used it as an opportunity to scapegoat, verbal abuse me, physically abuse me and put me in dangerous and health compromising positions. It wasn’t jokes and banter it was abuse. Because I’m relatively intelligent some of the staff out of nowhere kept bring up that I must have faked being autistic and that I shouldn't be working because I can claim benefits and get everything handed to me. 

I had put up with this work situation for over five months until an incident involving a co worker poisoning my food and another coworker stabbing me with a concoctions of animal vaccine, animal medicines with a dirty used needle. when I reported what happened to my boss with evidence of puncture wounds and the report from A&E because I needed time off because I was really unwell and suffering with PTSD because what my co workers did to me my employer at the time told me to not go to the police and he would deal with it internally which was a mistake as During my time off my employer at the time called me up and fired me for being mentally unstable with claims by the other co worker I had done all that stuff to myself despite grounds keeper wildlife Camera capturing the entire situation.

I worked after my diagnosis in very popular pub chain after three months and managed to get through my probational period, I decided to disclose my autism diagnosis. I was terminated immediately as my contract had a fail to disclose clause.

I can keep going on by these are just some examples. 

That's true, it's so frustrating to have the capacity to do stuff but not the soft skills like getting on with colleagues, thinking fast of alternative solutions etc. I also have anxiety; I read that it's more common in autistic people than the general population. I'm used to feeling like a disappointment to colleagues and bosses but it doesn't get easier. I really hope that you start to feel more settled in your job and have the opportunity to look after yourself there.

Thank you for your reply. That's a thought, I would like to pray more for colleagues. I don't really see them as good or bad, I can understand how someone who forgets where a room is must be frustrating and people don't want to work with me. I have a six month contract and I don't expect it to be renewed, but I'm used to that :-) That's a great idea to consider the legal side of declaring :-)

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences, that does sound bad! I've had similar with physical health issues, being managed out of the workplace, though I'm not sure I've ever been aware of encouragement of bullying. Mind you, I'm blissfully unaware of lots of things :-) My current managers seem accepting and I've explained to them that my husband is autistic and they seemed open-minded. However I don't have to think about any of that for a few days as I've been asked to self-isolate at home! Now to make a list of things to do, write out a new routine, lose the list, forget about the routine ...

I don't mean to be rude, but what was your experience disclosing your diagnosis? It sounds like it was pretty bad.

its good to hear you are working and doing a pretty tough job. As an amateur,,  I advise you keep doing as best you can at work  until you get a diagnosis or get better advice, because no one here knows the details of your work contract, (if you have one).

If you are religious, lean heavily on your religion and use it to tide you over until u get a diagnosis. eg (prey for all those you work with good or bad  ) 

If you have time call into your local CAB ( Citizens Advice Bureau ) and check out you the legal side of declaring yourself as autistic, either,

1. now ( called "self declaring" )  or

2. later with a diagnosis   

in your region and with your work contract.

but otherwise, keep up the good work  you are doing so well holding down a job

Honestly from experience disclosing that you are currently awaiting diagnosis for both Autism and ADHD may be a seriously bad decision. People are evil and will use that fact to harass and escape goat on you leading to more problems at work. People often tend to confuse autism and adhd with intellectual disabilities and mental health disorders which other co worker can use to make you appear unhinged or mentally disturbed. Typically the company you work for will start looking into ways of managing you out of the workplace or encourage bullying to get rid of you as typically making reasonable adjustment within the workplace is hassle to your employer and they we view you as an unnecessary financial expense to adapt the workplace. 

If you are going to disclose that you are currently awaiting to be assessed for both autism and adhd i would recommend you get a doctors letter and hand a copy into your human resources or employer to put in you employee record as proof that you have discussed and disclosed the fact you may have a possible disability.. 

I am currently in the same situation but in a different job. I'm new to the employer but experienced at my job elsewhere, but I'm already anxious that I won't live up to expectations of me based on my number of years of experience, and the reality is that anxiety likely caused by autism and the ways it makes me think has hindered me in many ways. In the same way you are perfectly capable of cleaning if you know where to clean and when, I have similar gaps.