Personal space

Somehow it always does :) 

i think it's good you guys have things that can mitigate these outside nuisances...a cat or music.  having strangers around is sure hard.... i hope it all works out.

Yeah, I think it is good first knowing that the reaction is part of the way you work - not something you cause yourself. To me that makes it a bit easier to work with. Right now, I only want to sit in bed and listen to music.

While it's horrible knowing people feel the way I do, there is definitely comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this. Unfortunately I have felt isolated ever since this has happened and have shut myself away in my room with my cat because nobody in my family seems to understand :( 

I completely understand how you feel. I hate having anyone I don't trust completely be in my safe space. Be it my room as a child or my house/car as an adult. I need to trust people. Heck - right now the neighbor to where we are is getting his roof fixed. So four guys I don't know is moving around in close proximity to my space and making a lot of noise. It makes me really anxious and I feel a need to either make them go away or move myself to another location. So yes, I understand.

here's hoping u get it !

Unfortunately from what I’ve researched, I am not eligible for housing benefits, as there are a few boxes I tick under “reasons you won’t qualify”. I am interviewing for a job next week so let’s just pray I get it...

It’s so hard to feel like I can cope with this :( we are in lockdown, my home is my safe place and the only place I am allowed to be right now and I feel like that’s all being taken away...

Yes, however I’m recently diagnosed and feel there hasn’t been much acknowledgement or understanding for my needs as of late. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been a good judge of character in the past (another reason why I’m uncomfortable) so it is making it very difficult :( 

That sucks, I can sympathise with your predicament.  Is there any way you could get help with moving out?  You should be eligible for at least some housing benefit I'd have thought.  It might be worth contacting your local citizens advice, they should be able to point you in the right direction at least.

you have coped well with quite a bit, like uni for example, so I believe you will be able to cope with this rather major shift in your family life. Just keep saying "I am coping with everything just fine".  Thats from my positive thinking training. 

i hope it all works out. maybe it will take some time. is your mum a good judge of character? hopefully she is. i'm assuming you are asd, and so at least have some recognition in your needs for personal space, regimen, social space, etc...  

Yes I think all of these points are so wise, and I know they definitely need to be done. I haven’t emerged from my room since she told me and she’s tried to talk but I haven’t been ready, but I think this is a good conversation to have. 

I hope that he’s a nice guy but I am often a terrible judge of character, so I am very cautious. 

Yes I think all of these points are so wise, and I know they definitely need to be done. I haven’t emerged from my room since she told me and she’s tried to talk but I haven’t been ready, but I think this is a good conversation to have. 

I hope that he’s a nice guy but I am often a terrible judge of character, so I am very cautious. 

Thank you so much for responding anyway. That would be great!

i can completely relate to your feelings and emotions, as i feel similarly.... um... so, i guess i'd advise trying to negotiate, first with your mum, for your needs, and having them recognized. that might be hard......  hopefully this bf will be open to your needs. so is there a chance he's a nice guy? 

you could create a 'safe space' for yourself to retreat to..........where you don't have to deal with people, sounds, etc.  the bathroom thing, the need for your own regimen.... those might be challenging, but if your other needs are met, maybe they're manageable?

Well I’m not the best person to give advice since I’m a 35 year old who still lives with his parents I’m sure someone will have better advice but you can always talk to me about things

I don’t really know him well at all - only what my mum tells me about him. He keeps himself to himself, which in some ways is good because I hate small talk, but makes it hard for me to build any sort of trust. 

I have been trying to. It is something she wants and we have talked about the fact that it was going to happen eventually, but I thought I still had some time yet. I think because it has happened so suddenly without giving me any time to prep myself for it has made it worse. I understand it’s her house, and I am old enough to live on my own, but unfortunately can’t due to my current circumstances! While I want to be selfless in this situation, I know the mental health impacts this will have on me, and I feel like I can’t ignore that :/ 

Damn I feel for you I can’t stand any kind of change at home do you get on with him?