Giving driving lessons

Hi,

This is my first post here. I will try to keep it short, because I don't want to rant and I just have 1 specific question

"Is it ok to say that certain things are difficult for a person with ASD"?

Will try to explain. I have asperger's, but I can function quite ok in the job , provided some adjustments were made. the biggest issue for me is I need structure in my daily life, because I'm very sensitive to unpredictability, and as a result of that, stress and anxiety. I feel ok when I can get up in the morning, go to work, after work go home, close the garage door and feel this is my cocoon, my safe place after work. And the same schedule each day. May sound boring, but it works for me to keep unpredictability, stress and anxiety at a distance and to feel better between my ears.

Maybe my story sounds familiar and I'm not alone who feels like that.

The pitfall now is : I'm a single parent with 2 adult kids still living at home. Daughter is going 24, still studying. Son is 20, and a typical 'failed to launch' example. 2 adult kids at home is a challenge of course. I love them, but it's not always easy. I wil not go into detail, because that will take too long. My son spent time already in juvenile detention as a minor, and also in prison this year, He's released on probation since October. He put me through hell already numerous times during the last 3 years. He stopped going to school at the age of 17 and until now, 3 years later, he's just a stay at home lazybones. I don't want to sound self pity, not at all, that's certainly not the case, but it's fair to say that the combination of ASD and living under the same roof with my son is giving me tremendous stress. 

So, to come back to my question : Is it ok and fair to just accept the fact that some things are difficult and that there are things I rather don't do, so not to feel depressed or anxious afterwards. 

I explained to my daughter a few years ago that giving driving lessons is not for me, as well as lending my car. I know already the stress will be skyhigh. She seemed to understand it. The problem is, my son thinks he's entitled to a lot of things. I can understand his friends already know how to drive (some of them, not all). I don't consider myself a bad person. The refrigerator is always full, if they need something or want to go somewhere, no problem. They have a warm house, etc...I don't abandon them, but I just feel that certain things are just plain difficult and I want to stay far from it. 

Long story short, my son nagged this evening for driving lessons. I just told him, do that if you live independent one day (don't know when that will be honestly). He just mocked me 'Are you scared or what'. I just explained him, yes, I'm scared, stress, anxiety and it's too diificult for me. And I told him, it's not like I say no to everything you ask, not at all, but certain things are simply a non starter.

But now I feel guilty. Should I feel guilty? Is there somebody here who also experience similar anxiety/stress problems?

Many thanks in advance...