Published on 12, July, 2020
A conversation (via SMS) with a friend around suicide included me pointing out the strain of not fitting in anywhere and being socially abnormal. His reply was intended to be generous, suggesting that I fit in better than I think. So I just pointed out to him "I don't think you realise how hard it is to fit in."
His reply? "Do you have to pretend? Can you be yourself?"
Excellent question. I mean, obviously yes, and hell, there's an entire lifetime of things going *** when I fail to properly portray neurotypical behaviours.
I still don't know how to respond. Why do we pretend to fit in? What's the point?
I pretend on autopilot I’m really trying to stop it’s really hard though.